Spit & Polish: 25 September 2011

A big gold male member - on which you can ride - is acceptable, but investigative reporting is not

I am so bored with the "Dubul'iBhunu" saga that ended in what might look like a win for AgriForum, but it is something of Pyrrhic victory. If you don't understand what that means, it is a victory won at such a devastating cost to the victor that it implies that another such victory will ultimately cause defeat.

It's not, however, going to stop anyone from singing the song, and if Julius Malema and his defiant crew were to sing it out loud in a public place, it would start another court procedure that will last longer than anyone can bear to contemplate. Only the lawyers, on both sides, would gain anything from it.

I feel the same way about the "secrecy clause" that will allow any politician to silence any media source that dares to defy the ANC's propaganda machine. It is with a grim sense of comedy that I, and thousands like me, will remember how the Nationalist Party, in the dying days of the "old South Africa", censored themselves into a frenzy, but were still unable to bluff the South African nation with their self-serving propaganda.

It did not work then and it won't work now, but in that process of bitter resentment and confusion, nasty damage will be done to the South Africa we have supported, praised and honoured as the "Rainbow Nation" that Nelson Mandela spoke about in his inaugural speech.

For example, the ANC Youth League, in the form of Frans Moswane and Jacob Lebogo, have decided that the media are the enemy of freedom and justice. They seem to believe that because they speak for ANCYL, they are not only correct in every way, but also empowered to silence anyone who does not parrot what they say.

They want a total boycott of all Media24/Naspers publications, both newspapers and magazines, because they are politically incorrect. Well, I cannot wait for them to explain to me how magazines like Men's Health, Top Car, Fair Lady, Sarie and Heat can be considered to be politically devious.

Can you really believe that Sports Illustrated is a propaganda tool? Yet these gentlemen are of the opinion that: "For too long now Media24 has been used as a weapon to attack the ANC and its leaders on a daily basis." Where will it attack? In Your Baby magazine?

They also rant about "other subsidiary media companies, like DStv, that air their distorted views by utilising programmes such as Carte Blanche on MNet". Does that go for the sports shows as well? Really?

The next thing we'll hear is that MNet's The Wild is rampant capitalist propaganda, and as for the BBC programming, well, the UK was, after all, a colonial occupier and here they are again, spreading their subtle propaganda via Midsomer Murders or The Graham Norton Show.

Moswane and Lebogo also rant about the fact that "this is the same company that supplies our children with school books. This is done through publishing subsidiaries of Media24, particularly Nasou, Via Africa, Van Schaik and Paarl Media". What I really want to know is this: if those companies are closed down, who will produce those same school books for the children of the nation? South Africans have already learned - the hard way - about government patronage.

By the time the newly appointed heads of the various companies and departments have returned from lengthy and costly "inspections" of new technology in several European and Asian markets, there will not be enough money left to buy the new books or, indeed, to pay the teachers.

I have, however, heard not a single complaint, or even a veiled comment, about the fact that Sexpo Joburg opens on Thursday - and one of the attractions for the young and reckless is a gigantic inflatable male member, painted gold. Visitors will be able to sit on it, as you would on a rocking horse, and you can have your picture taken as a souvenir of your visit, which you can show to your friends and relatives.

There's also a prize for winning the "Perfect Porn Star" competition. Winners will get a wonderful opportunity to star in a porno movie, plus a R5000 cash prize. This, you understand, is considered acceptable, but they want to close down Carte Blanche and censor the newspapers, especially political opinion.

The organisers promise "divine shopping, sizzling entertainment, naughty workshops and a whole lot more fun, as you meet hot international adult stars, visit the erotic gallery and experience new products".

There's even a special new innovation: The Sexpo Naughty Wedding Chapel. It will offer daily commitment ceremonies and even the opportunity to get hitched Vegas-style.

Sex, it would seem, is politically and socially acceptable, but telling the truth about government spending, political malfeasance, devious deals about tenders and anything else that has to do with money or a politician's reputation, will, if the ANC has its way, simply be banned.

Unlike the Sexpo entrepreneurs, who take it all off, the political entrepreneurs are planning to hide it all away, and that gives one a considerable amount to consider.