'Euro soccer a doddle, it's all on a platter'

TSAMAYA are big fans of Erwin Isaacs, but worry that our live-wire striker has his wires crossed. Offering his wisdom on the standard of play between the PSL and Europe, Isaacs shockingly said:"If you can perform here, ah, you will make it easily that side. The life there is easy. They've got everything on a platter. They just pass you the ball and you score. Here you must work for your team. This is a graveyard." Geez, Erwin should be playing for Barcelona if it is as easy as he suggests.

WE AT Tsamaya made our Bethlehem debut when we visited Free State Stars and the birthplace of one of our spies, Mazola "Superjourno" Molefe, this week. The one ox-wagon town is home to the Stars players, who train at the nearby military base. After a hectic drill, the players were seen flashing their bums and changing next to their cars before going to the clubhouse.

STARS' muscular assistant coach, Themba Sithole, looks like a mean nightclub bouncer or a competitor in the world's strongest man competition. The friendly Marmite-skinned giant looks as though he could pull a horse and trailer with his teeth. The beefy bro might even be able to lift three of the club's skinny players with one arm.

MPUMALANGA Black Aces have hired Argentinian ex-professional goalkeeper Rodolfo Zapata to replace Craig Rosslee. Tsamaya couldn't help noticing that Zapata is a coach with just one club to his CV - Sunshine Stars in Nigeria. On the website for his academy, under "tactics", Zapata simply lists every formation known in football: "4-3-3; 4-4-2; 4-5-1; 5-4-1; 5-3-2; 3-5-2; 3-4-3; 3-3-2-2; 3-2-3-2; 3-3-1-3; etc ... " He said after his appointment: "I need to set short-term goals and strategic priorities. Situations and circumstances change so quickly in football." Yes they do, especially at Aces.

SHAKES Mashaba was right when he said the difference between the current generation of national under-23 players and the team he took to the Olympics in 2000 was their gadgets. Tsamaya's spy at the Caf U-23 Championship in Morocco counted so many iPhones, Blackberries, iPods and other technical wonders he didn't recognise that he thought he was at a gadget convention. Luckily for our players, when they lose matches they have the soothing tones of Beyonce to comfort them.

RAYMOND Hack was in charge of Caf's disciplinary committee in Marrakesh. The former Safa CEO, looked almost sporty enough, in a relaxed 1970s-styled tracksuit, to be able to take to the field himself. Or maybe Oom Ray was just getting ready to poke the poor streets of Marrakesh with those pin-sized legs in preparation for next year's London Marathon.