Luke's first day at "Big School": iLIVE

After much prepping and coercing, the Big day arrived. Luke was going to 'big' school. Big, in Luke's terms, is Pre-Primary School.

Compared to a few hours of Play school in the morning, regular school hours will be the norm now and our household was quaking from the big shift!

With shiny shoes and new satchel, complete with all the extras and necessities required for the day, we headed towards Luke's impending coming-of-age. My heart sat heavy in my chest - so proud of my little man, yet so sad that my little boy will not need me quite so much after today.

I sneaked a peep at Luke in the review mirror and I saw a mixture of excitement and bewilderment. I held back the tears. He was being so brave!

As we arrived at his new school, excitement turned to fear. "No, Mummy! I don't want to go to Big School! Can we go to the shops?" Anything to avoid going inside. My heart was about to explode, drenching us in a tsunami of tears and grief!

Clutching the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white, I managed to keep the tears from erupting. I had to be brave for my boy.

I cuddled him in my arms, satchel hanging limply by my hand and we approached the daunting scenario. The merry headmistress came bounding along the path to greet us.

Luke's precious head was nestled so far into my neck, willing me to turn around and flee! With determined arms, I managed to pry him out from his snuggly den as we entered Luke's classroom - the place where he would spend the rest of the year growing up before our eyes.

It was chaotic! Children crying and mother's consoling. Teachers talking above the din, trying to assure us that all will be fine. I wasn't buying it, but I had to let go.

As soon as I tiptoed backwards towards the door, Luke's little face darted up. Red, crying eyes implored me to stay! His outstretched arms begged me to take him back, into my arms and the comfort of my love. He started to wail. And that's when the wall broke.

My eyes welled up and a flood of tears cascaded down my grimaced cheeks. With a quick kiss and '" love you", I turned and ran, leaving my little boy to fend for himself - guilt and sorrow eating away at my wilting heart.

The story gets better and time has passed since that first tragic day. Luke is happier and he's learning to like school. He is making some friends and the teachers adore him.

When I fetch him each day after hours apart, he takes my hand and shows me where things are. I whisk him in my arms and we cuddle with glee and spend the rest of the day together, happy.

NB: We welcome more first time "big school" stories from parents out there. Email us and share with millions of Times Live readers. Send your stories to ilive@timeslive.co.za, and include a photograph of the little one where possible.