Ubuntu is for the poor: iLIVE

Would all those rich people who are decrying the loss of “ubuntu” in our South African society please share their Ferraris with me? Ubuntu is for the poor.

My teenage daughter and I visited some people who used to go to school with my wife at Kingsmead College in Rosebank. Actually my wife dragged us to their reunion kicking and screaming. Wives can be dictators most of the time.

There we were making small talk with total strangers while she played catch up with her former school mates.

When a darkie joins a group of whites the conversation always almost immediately turns to politics.

“What do you think of Zuma?” came the usual question from some stumpy guy in Billabong shorts.

I looked around to see who this question was directed to and found all 12 eyes looking at me.

“Am  I obliged to have an opinion on him?” was my immediate irritable retort.

“Daddy be nice,” my daughter whispered in my ear while tugging at my Dolce&Gabbana jeans.

I stomped on her Prada sneakers, just hard enough for her to let out a suppressed scream, but not hard enough to do damage to her freshly-polished toenails.

“I think he is messing up the country, and they are looting South Africa dry,” the stump continued as if I hadn’t said anything.

“Yes, he is,” I said looking disinterestedly at the kids swimming nearby, “the water looks good,” I added, trying to change the subject.

“The thing we don’t have ubuntu anymore, our leaders only think of lining their pockets,” stumpy said without missing a beat.

“Ubuntu is for poor people. It’s a survival system where very little is shared among many. When you can afford things, then ubuntu becomes redundant,” I told stumpy and watched the shock on the six faces around me.

“But we need ubuntu for the country to work. We need to look after the poor and spread the wealth,” said stumpy now frothing at the mouth. I handed him a paper towel, but he didn’t get the hint.

“Well, try spreading your own buddy. I have worked hard to get out of poverty and into a comfortable middle class life. Any poor person who wants to get out of poverty should do the same,” I said, pulling out a Monte Cristo Gran Corona and sniffing it.

Another man whose face escapes me now jumped in: “But this is the exact attitude that has led to tenderpreneurship and all the corruption in the country,” he said.

“I don’t nee to borrow a lawnmower from my neighbour because I own one. I don’t need to borrow a cup of sugar either, so I believe my neighbour and I have a constitutional right to be left the hell alone, and the less fortunate have a constitutional right to share everything among themselves to survive,” I said as I left the group with my daughter in tow.

“You are horrible dad,” she said wiping off tears from laughing so hard.

“If you don’t improve your grades at school, you may end up having to practice ubuntu,” I warned her.