MV Agusta Rivale: A Real Smile Maker

Every so often a bike comes along and makes you think: What on earth is this for? Obviously most bikes have a clearly defined purpose: cutting a fast lap on a sports bike, conveying two people over vast distances in comfort for a big tourer or making you look as cool as possible on a cruiser.

There’s usually some kind of logical reasoning behind a motorcycle’s existence, even if it as humdrum as getting you to and from work as efficiently and cost-effectively as possible. Except in the case of MV Agusta’s Rivale. This is a bike which at first glance appears to have no particular function. After a second and third glance the impression remains, as it does after a quick ride, or even a long one. Actually, especially after a long ride, but more of that later.

In fact, I can report in depth on this matter because I have been running a Rivale for the past three months for The Bike Show, and I can state quite categorically after several thousand kilometres of painstaking research that as a motorcycle it has no practical use whatsoever. It isn’t very comfortable, it isn’t particularly easy to ride and if you travel much more than the length of your driveway you’ll have to fill it with fuel every day. I often fill it twice a day, and three times isn’t unknown. This can be rather irritating, as is the permanent neck spasm I endure thanks to the constant straining against the complete and utter lack of wind protection.

But I am aware that my time with MV Agusta’s silliest bike of its modern era is coming to an end, and I am sad. I won’t miss some of those niggling idiosyncrasies, but I shall undoubtedly yearn for the Rivale when it’s gone because not once did even the shortest of rides fail to put a big cheesy grin on my face. This may seem like a less than scientific, detached and objective assessment - which indeed it is - but in my world, the ability to generate a smile while riding across a cold, wet and occasionally dangerous Gauteng is worth celebrating.

But before the celebration, let me not gloss too lightly over those foibles. Comfort is an issue: there isn’t any. The seat is quite hard, and as I’ve already mentioned, the wind protection is non-existent, thanks to the supermoto riding position thrusting you uncompromisingly upright and forward into the breeze. A supermoto is essentially a dirt bike made suitable for the road, and the Rivale is to all intents and purposes a large, posh supermoto. The tank holds slightly less than 13 litres, which is not much more than half of what you would expect on any similarly sized road bike. You might get 150km or so before the low fuel light insists you refuel, but if you ride, er, enthusiastically you won’t get much over 120km.

It is impossible to ride the Rivale in any other manner than as if you are being chased by corrupt police for a crime you didn’t commit. This is because the 798cc in- line three-cylinder engine is quite simply fantastic. It’s a gutsy motor with 84Nm of torque on tap and a healthy 93Kw that will easily propel you past the 230km/h mark (if your neck will take the strain) accompanied by a beautiful soundtrack - triples have their own quite distinctive howl. Factor in the standard electronic quick-shifter (ignore the clutch, keep the throttle pinned and tap the gear lever for instantaneous changes) and it’s difficult to resist a frantic rush to the redline in every gear.

The Brembo brakes are some of the best ever made, the suspension is beautifully controlled, though longer travel than usual, thanks to the supermoto influence, and that means more pitch- ing under braking. It’s not a drawback, but it does take some getting used to. And then of course there are those looks which seem to be universally admired wherever I park it; no wonder really since it was voted most beautiful bike at last year’s Milan international bike expo.

It is a touch on the costly side at R169 900, but then it is unique, Italian and gorgeous, so like the famous Belgian beer, rather think of it as reassuringly expensive. Truth be told, MV Agusta’s Brutale 800 uses exactly the same engine, but in a more practical naked bike format and would make a more sensible, affordable (R139000) purchase. Having ridden them both, I’d say damn the sense and embrace the eccentric. Stand out from the crowd with a bike that tells everyone you’re only in it for the fun. And that’s all this bike is for, it’s one single purpose in life is to make you smile, and there aren’t many bikes that can do a better job of it.

The Facts: 2014 MV Agusta Rivale

Engine: 798cc, three-cylinder

Power: 93kW

Torque: 84Nm

Gearbox: Six-speed

Fuel tank: 12.9 litres

Weight: 178kg

Price: R169 900

-Mat Durrans