If you're heading to Oppikoppi this weekend and you are still able to read this, you were either denied leave or, smartly, are pacing yourself. If you're already plastered, chances are you'll be comatose before the festival closes on Saturday.
The festival in Northam, Limpopo, begins this morning and you can expect to see the usual suspects there, including Die Heuwels Fantasties, Jack Parrow, Fokofpolisiekar, Toya Delazy, Jessie Clegg, Mango Groove and Zakes Bantwini.
We drew up a short check list for first-time Oppikoppi-goers.
BE PATIENT: There are lots of people (about 20 000) who will test your patience, but count to 10 and let things slide. Take goodwill and a positive attitude.
BE PREPARED: Take all the camping stuff you need. Take comfortable shoes that can get dirty. Take cool clothes for the day and dress up for the cold in the evening. Take wet-wipes, a buff and a surgical mask (and waterless alcohol hand-rub), and be aware that the place is a dust bowl that might give you permanent lung damage. If you can, take a blow-up mattress.
LEAVE VALUABLES BEHIND: Maybe take a camera to capture memories. And your cellphone and car charger.
HEALTH COMES FIRST: P ack something to keep you hydrated (litres of water should be primary), headache pills, milk thistle for overindulgences and something for heartburn and indigestion. And sufficient condoms - safety first.
LOCK YOUR TENT: To avoid waking up next to a stranger wearing your clothes.
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