Marriage, but at what cost?

Ilobolo could be one of the reasons for many black women not getting married.

Research by the SA Research Chairs Initiative suggests that although there are many reasons for the low marriage rate among black women poverty is an important factor.

"My research suggests that the cost of getting married is a constraint among black South Africans and one of the reasons for this is ilobolo," the initiative's economics specialist, Dori Posel said.

She found that, on average, married black men earn considerably more than unmarried black men of the same age and educational level in the same area.

"This suggests that the likelihood of African men marrying is strongly influenced by their economic status," she said.

Interviews with 40 black married couples in Durban revealed that marriage is thought of as desirable and ilobolo is still regarded as an integral and defining feature of a black marriage, although it has not been a legal requirement since 1932.

All but one of the couples surveyed followed the ilobolo tradition, and parents of daughters received or expected ilobolo as compensation for raising the child.

The research found that the ability to pay ilobolo is seen as a sign of manhood, and as a sign of a woman's worth.

Some of the respondents said the ilobolo tradition was becoming commercialised.

"Given our sample, we cannot generalise these findings to all of South Africa," Posel said.

Expert Ndela Nelson Ntshangase said ilobolo was the "least likely reason" for the low marriage rate, but could delay or prevent marriage when it was "corrupted".

"The fathers of the girls have corrupted ilobolo by making a huge demand that the boy cannot easily afford," he said.

He said ilobolo was based on its affordability for the payer, willingness and negotiating in good faith.

"If these three things are in place, ilobolo is not going to be a hindrance to the couple. But if someone is demanding things that the giver cannot afford then there will be a problem."

Ntshangase said the low marriage rate was a result of the Westernisation of black culture.

"If you are a man, you are told not to marry at 20, and do whatever you like before considering marriage at about 27. But by then you have girlfriends and are getting all the needs that a man will require from women, so you ask yourself, 'Why marry?'"