Let me entertain you

If you're Ayda Field, aka Mrs Robbie Williams, then giving birth to your second child was never going to be a quiet family affair.

Yesterday, as his wife went into labour, Williams released video footage of himself singing and dancing around her hospital bed.

Field is pictured looking nonplussed, as Williams performs to his hit song Candy - finally stopping filming because she's "not going to be any fun".

Field did later sing along to Fancy by Iggy Azalea in a second clip and was pictured wearing sparkly high-heeled shoes in hospital.

But an irritating "birth partner" can often spoil the whole magical experience.

Here are a few things to avoid saying while in the presence of a woman in labour:

1. "It's time? Right now? OK, I'll come when I finish this job."

No. Work can wait. Everything can wait.

2. "It doesn't sound like you're in labour yet."

To the excitable mum-to-be any strange sensations could be mistaken for the real thing. So being told you're not in labour "enough" really takes the magic out of the whole experience.

3. "Do you mind if I have a glass of wine?"

Don't pop the cork too early. Your wife, girlfriend, daughter or sister - the one who probably hasn't tasted alcohol for NINE MONTHS - might appreciate you waiting a little longer.

4. "Do you think you could stop holding my hand so tightly when you push? It really hurts!"

See also: "I'm going to have to stop crouching next to you in the birthing pool, my back's killing me."

5. "Your birth plan doesn't say anything about an epidural."

If she's screaming for the drugs during labour just LET HER HAVE THE DRUGS, OK?

6. "I can see the head. Wow, it's huge! This is going to sting!"

The surprising thing is, despite the unsupportive comment, it often doesn't.

7. "Oh no! I'm sorry, it's another girl. Don't worry darling, we'll try again for a boy."

A true story according to a midwife - gender disappointment taken to a new level by a couple upon the arrival of their fifth daughter.