A minute less than an hour-and-a-half into yesterday's play in Nagpur, 11 men took the mickey out of Test cricket. Three of them raised the curtain on this farce by pulling a roller from the boundary towards the pitch in the middle of the field.They were joined in the middle by seven colleagues.Some wielded hand-brooms. Others carried paint and brushes.The No11, head groundsman Amar Karlekar, presided, hands clasped behind his back.Thus assembled, the men tended what they would have us believe is a pitch worthy of staging the third Test between India and SA.This is a pitch that has claimed 32 wickets in two days; that, after just 172 overs, looks and plays as if it has been through three times as many; that seems almost as soft as the surrounding outfield, a pitch that soothes India's fear of SA's fast bowlers and exploits SA's fear of India's spinners.So why bother with the pretence of looking after the damn thing?Whether the surface measures up to the standard required by the International Cricket Council (ICC) will be decided by Jeff Crowe, the match referee.After the game hurtles to an end, in all likelihood today - two days ahead of schedule - Crowe will complete what the ICC calls a "Pitch and Outfield Report Form" and send it off to the suits.Among the questions he will answer is: "General comments on the pitch and its effect on the quality of play in the match."A pitch may be rated as poor if any of these criteria apply: "The pitch offers excessive seam movement at any stage of the match; the pitch displays excessive unevenness of bounce for any bowler at any stage of the match; the pitch offers excessive assistance to spin bowlers, especially early in the match."How this surface will escape being done for offering "excessive assistance to spin bowlers, especially early in the match" is difficult to imagine.It has turned from the ninth over, when Hashim Amla tossed the ball to Simon Harmer.Nagpur pitch 'diabolical'Robin Peterson: "It's called Test cricket because it tests the skills of the various disciplines. Not seeing much of this at the moment #heavilyfavouringspin"Michael Vaughan: "20 Wkts fall in a day ... Poor Batting ... #MyArse #ShockingPitch #Nagpur #INDvSA"Matthew Hayden: "How disappointing it is to see the quality of Test Cricket reduced to what we are witnessing #INDvsSA @StarSportsIndia #justnotcricket"Mpumelelo Mbangwa: "Goodness gracious! #INDvSA"Glenn Maxwell: "This wicket is diabolical!! 9 legitimate wicket chances in the first hour with 3 plays and misses every over! #day2 #minefield #INDvSA"Michael Clarke: "Good cricket = Something for everyone. Swing and seam early, good for batting, spin day 3, 4, 5. "Someone wins and someone loses"Aakash Chopra: "The real contest would've been Indian spinners to Indian batsmen ... South African batting just no match on this pitch. #IndvSA"Tom Moody: "This wicket in #Nagpur can't be good for test cricket, 25 wkts in 142 overs. #INDvSA"..