Shame on you, Telkom!

Toby Shapshak: "Remember, exercise caution when you see orange," warns the Telkom billboard outside Neotel's orange-branded Midrand offices.

Telkom. A parastatal that has capitalised on years of legislated monopoly to fleece the South African consumer whose taxes paid for its infrastructure and still pay - through excessive bills - for taunting billboards like this one.

Shame on you, Telkom.

There has been much positive coverage about Telkom's new cellphone network, 8ta, and the competitive rates it offers. This family newspaper would not publish the list of expletives I'd like to use about that.

Telkom, faced with a little competition, has become competitive. So its cellphone calls are cheaper. Yippee!

They're still charging me twice what they should for my ADSL line, having already charged me for the phone line I have to rent from them for a broadband connection. No other telecoms company in the world does that kind of thing to its consumers - then gloats on the N1 about its landline competition. Shame on you Telkom.

The other cellphone network operators still have to overpay Telkom for their connections to their base stations - Telkom is competing with them in the cellular space and then screwing them with their other costs.

This is with the express approval of our government, Telkom's majority shareholder. At any point, Telkom could have dropped its rates if the government ordered it to do so. But neither party acted in the best interests of their primary shareholders: the taxpaying South African citizen.

The list of Telkom's disingenuous behaviour is legendary.

Years ago the Telkom executive responsible for the ADSL business told us the cost of the international leg was the cause of the double charge. Then last year it emerged - at a function when Telkom SA CEO Pinky Moholi wouldn't answer my repeated question about when it would reduce its broadband costs - that the international leg only accounted for 20% to 25% of the total cost. (see my November column: http://bit.ly/6DRXvx )

Then there was the disinformation about the increase in bandwidth caps. When Telkom introduced ADSL way back in 2002, they also brought in a concept that made Americans, Europeans and Asians stare at me open-mouthed when I explained it: the bandwidth cap.

It's an unheard-of concept in the broadband-rich countries of the world. Initially it was three gigabytes, but secretly Telkom gave its own internet service provider customers 5GB, one of their managers later admitted to me.

Meanwhile, Telkom still charged other ISPs for just three gigs. Talk about abusing its position and state-sanctioned monopoly because the rest of the ISPs were legally bound to buy their connectivity from it.

Readers of this column may remember the saga I went through with Telkom when it moved the exchange box near my home. Overnight I lost gigs of data. Impossible, they told me. Must have been Windows updates.

"Er," I replied, "I have a Mac."

Okay, must have been a virus, the call centre operator suggested.

"I have a Mac. They don't get viruses."

Eventually they conceded there had been a problem. This was after sending a six-strong delegation to inspect the premises. By that stage I had reached my cap. It was halfway through the month, if I recall correctly.

"How do I get my bandwidth back?" I asked.

I was told to report the theft to the police and get a case number before they could do anything. I kid you not. So I did.

"Hello," I said to the inspector at the Rosebank police station. "I'd like to report bandwidth stolen."

His face contorted with confusion: "Your what? A handbag?"

We filled in an affidavit, as one does with a theft docket. Then he asked: "When last was it in your possession?"

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to endorse Telkom, and by extension 8ta, for continuing to abuse us.

Shame on you!

• Shapshak is editor of Stuff magazine