Can-do Zim man will pick it up

Peter Delmar: Like most efficient organisations, my house has a division of labour.

Wife is in charge of things like grocery shopping, laundry and defrosting the fridge. I am responsible for devising household policy on nuclear power and nationalising mines. Declarations of war, global warming and who should start at flyhalf for the Lions are also within my remit.

It's an arrangement that serves us well, but the other day our world order was thrown distressingly out of kilter. First, Wife took the kids off on a week's holiday, and at about the same time Pikitup went on strike. (Pikitup, in case you live in a normal town or city, is the utility that in Johannesburg fetches our garbage most weeks.)

Exactly why Pikitup is on strike is not entirely clear. Even the union and the employer can't quite agree on what is behind this latest industrial action. All I know is that I found myself emptying our big black rubbish bin and carting the contents in bags to the boot of my car.

The bags were filthy, smelly and - get this - crawling with maggots. Maggots? I thought maggots were like the Black Death; nasty things that scientists took care of long ago, but there they were: in my rubbish. And then it started to rain. And I was wearing a nice clean suit because I had a meeting at a shiny corporate that afternoon. And after that I had to get on an aeroplane. But first I had to deal with this stinking mass of household detritus. It was all too yucky for words.

I found a dump that was open and willing to take my rubbish. I tipped the striking chap who was at work, but not really working, but still willing to help me. Then I took a shower (my second of the day) and got changed into my only other suit.

After that things returned more or less to normal; Wife and the kids came back, but the rubbish men didn't. What was I to do? I'd made sure that Wife heard all about my travails with the garbage and the lengths to which I had gone to protect my family from the plague. But you know what she did? She made it clear that, with the experience I'd gained, from now on refuse removal would be my responsibility. But, Darling, I spluttered, I'm terribly concerned about Libya at the moment; I'm monitoring the situation very closely. That, I'm afraid to say, cut very little ice.

Then Owen came to the rescue. On the wireless I had heard presenter David O'Sullivan saying that a chap named Owen Muzambi had removed his rubbish. David had quizzed Owen and assured himself that Owen wasn't simply dumping the rubbish in the nearest park. The day before, David had wondered out loud on air whether the strike wasn't an opportunity for entrepreneurs. He offered anyone who could help residents a free plug. Owen was the only one who took up the opportunity.

I phoned Owen and asked him to explain himself. He's 26 years old and a carpenter. Until recently he worked for an events company making sets and things. But they only employed him part-time and he wanted to run his own business. He supports four younger sisters, all of them still at school. He has a 2.2 litre Ford bakkie, and for R150 would take away all of my rubbish. This seemed a bit extortionate but it was a seller's market and, with luck and Owen's help, I could get back to the Libyan impasse and other less malodorous dilemmas.

Problem is that David has several billion listeners so Owen was in demand. As he told me, his rubbish-removal business had suddenly gone "viral". He offered to fetch my garbage at 4.55pm that day. That was too late for me. Then it was the weekend after that he came. He took my rubbish to the dump and pocketed my R150.

Did I tell you where he's from? He's from Zimbabwe, but I guess you guessed that already. There must be something in the water in that country that they produce so many hard-working, can-do, smiley people. We should all try to be a bit more like them. (Apart from the senile old doos they keep electing.)

Remember the other day I was suggesting that we privatise the City of Joburg? People like Owen Muzambi are champing at the bit to do just that. You can contact him on 078-334-4753.