Kids come first

By being late for our childcare arrangements, my estranged partner is almost always making me late. What can i do?

SHRINK RAP

THE situation that you describe is not only about you and your estranged partner, but also involves your children and their best interests and rights.

Children witnessing their parents' conflict are forced to adjudicate who is to blame, who to feel sympathy towards, whose side to take and, ultimately, which parent most deserves their loyalty. Since children love both parents, this is extremely unfair.

I assume you've tried talking. You do have recourse to the law. That, however, should be a last resort as legal action escalates acrimony and destroys trust. It also hurts the children.

What you need to do is create practical consequences for your ex being late so that she is inconvenienced by her time management, not you. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY

WHETHER you think your ex is doing it on purpose, or does not consider the impact of her bad time-keeping on others, specially you, the decision to take control of your life is in your hands.

Explain the impact her late- coming is having on your ability to keep your work commitments and provide a professional service, thus negatively affecting your ability to earn a regular income. Listen to what has caused the late arrivals - if it is bad planning, she can set an alarm or reminder on her phone.

If a solution about better timekeeping cannot be agreed upon, then rather arrange private child care that is more reliable to fill the gaps. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser