James Gandolfini was my big, complex teddy bear

I like big men. I have a soft spot for London mayor Boris Johnson, despite the fact that he's a Tory. I like Gerard Depardieu, Trevor Manuel and even Jacob Zuma.

 All of these men I like against my better judgment, and normally I would keep my opinions to myself because I am well aware that none of these men are what you would call suitable. Except possibly Trevor.

I mention them, however, so I can put my crush on James Gandolfini into perspective. Because it was Gandolfini's alter ego, Tony Soprano, who could really melt my heart. And I am not alone.

In his memory, the table at Holsten's - the New Jersey ice-cream shop where Tony sat with his family in the finale of The Sopranos -was kept reserved all night on Wednesday after the actor's death while fans flocked there to pay tribute. If you haven't seen the picture posted on Twitter of this table scene, google it. You'll cry.

Everybody who'd switched on their television 10 years ago to let Tony and his dysfunctional family into their living room fell in love. Like all my men, Tony is a big man. Like them, he is not straightforward.

Zuma is charming, but let's just say there are trust issues. Depardieu looks fun and entertaining - but I am not sure I could put up with his excessive drinking.

Tony is complex too. Is there a TV character as charming as he is? I can't think of one. Nor can I think of many who are as brutal and coldly calculating.

But I fell in love with this fictional scumbag for his complex combination of charm and terrifying coldness. He throttled one or two people every hour during that once-a-week episode, but Gandolfini's sad, twinkling eyes were seductive.

As were his nuanced responses to emotional situations. He was hardcore in his brutal decision-making at work. But he was the mob boss who was terrified of his mother. And then he went to therapy. There was a new man somewhere in that mass of violence.

The Sopranos creator David Chase couldn't have been luckier to find the perfect actor for this beautifully scripted role. The series is now recognised as having changed TV from being cinema's poor relation into the medium in which Hollywood's big names regularly appear - and helped it enter its golden era.

It has been called a "paradigm-busting show".

Chase said Gandolfini was a genius: "I remember telling him many times, 'You don't get it. You're like Mozart'." Gandolfini may not have got it, but we did.