Soup kitchen beckons for second-string coaches as winter starts to bite

TSAMAYA saw a picture of National First Division coaches Gerald Mtshali, Professor Ngubane, David Bright and Steve Barker looking like they were lining up for meal tickets at a Salvation Army soup kitchen during the play-offs draw. With winter gripping Jozi, we wondered whether the four unfashionable coaches would have preferred oxtail soup instead of butternut or hearty beef. We hope they gave chubby Prof Ngubane two extra rolls and extra butter.

TSAMAYA saw a picture of National First Division coaches Gerald Mtshali, Professor Ngubane, David Bright and Steve Barker looking like they were lining up for meal tickets at a Salvation Army soup kitchen during the play-offs draw. With winter gripping Jozi, we wondered whether the four unfashionable coaches would have preferred oxtail soup instead of butternut or hearty beef. We hope they gave chubby Prof Ngubane two extra rolls and extra butter.

ANC veteran and Safa vice-president Chief Mwelo Nonkonyana says former ANC president Oliver Tambo spoke to him in a vision about candidate lists in the OR Tambo region. We always suspected Nonkonyana was permanently in dreamland. No wonder Safa is in such a big mess.

SOME Fifa executive members have been accused by former English Football Association chairman David Triesman of seeking favours in return for their votes. For example, Paraguay's Nicolas Leoz requested a knighthood. Tsamaya is requesting a year's supply of Chelsea buns, free Beefeater hats, free travel on London's red buses and an unlimited supply of weak tea.

THE football administrators from the kingdom of the randy king have set their sights on hiring Conti Kubheka as Swaziland's head coach. Tsamaya fearsIsihlangu Semnikati, will never get out of the doldrums of international football obscurity with "Mr Away Goal Rule" mismanaging their fortunes. Moving from former coach Shakes Mashaba to Kubheka is like downgrading from an Aston Martin to a rickshaw!

HLOMPHO Kekana was seen trying his hand at cooking and baking on some TV lifestyle show. The Bloemfontein Celtic midfield hard man started working up some serious sweat as though pumping weights. Clearly, he is yet to hear the saying that "if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen". The Tsamaya crew is eager to sample Kekana's delicacies but on one condition - that we be allowed to have our medical-aid cards handy.

AN overzealous radio disc jock tormented our eardrums when he invited verbal diarrhea master and Black Leopards owner David Thidiela to give his side of the story regarding a case his club lost for fielding an improperly registered player. Thidiela spewed bile and said some of the people running the game were still in grade A when he started out in football. If that's the case, Thidiela has been playing marbles all these years and can learn from these laaities.

THE PSL had the magnificent trophy at the ready in Polokwane last week in case Ajax Cape Town beat Kaizer Chiefs and won the league. They had also prepared a fireworks display in anticipation of crowning the new champions right after the final whistle. Nothing wrong with forward planning, but after Amakhosi showed Ajax Armageddon, it was like Guy Fawkes and the fireworks that never went off.