Scientists find formula for love

Is there a formula for lasting love?

The formula for the perfect first date? Well, that's easy: Candle-lit dinner + kissing = a call back.

The perfect relationship? Timing + communication x mutual attraction - emotional baggage = intimacy.

Penis + pulse = One-night stand.

Relationships seem simple when you put them like that.

And yet we've all had those romances in which the sums seem to add up, in which the right boxes were ticked and the scores were even - but it didn't add up to love.

Love is frustrating, elusive, intangible. Can the algorithms of online dating sites, or indeed the long odds of stumbling upon your perfect partner down at the local bar, ever predict where, when or for how long Cupid will strike?

Though science has not yet manufactured the perfect partner, mathematicians are claiming to have found the formula that predicts how long love will last. Research commissioned by MSN, a Microsoft instant-messaging service, has revealed a new love equation that determines the key ingredients to a successful, long-lasting relationship - with factors such as a good sense of humour ranking in importance alongside number of previous sexual partners.

According to the 2000 males and females surveyed, 25% of both men and women believe their partner should have had four sexual partners before them (20% of men cling to the traditional belief that they should be their ideal woman's "first").

The survey found that men prioritise looks over intelligence and are twice as likely as women to believe that good sex is important for a happy, enduring relationship. The biggest surprise for me was that the No1 trait we're all apparently after is wit. So there you go, it's not sex appeal but sparkling banter that will make you a hit with the opposite sex.

It is claimed that the resulting formula (L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C) can determine how long a potential or current relationship can be expected to last.

Does it really work? I decided to test the hypothesis through extremely scientific means (in other words, by broadcasting to the world, via Twitter, that I am single and ready to mingle in a mathematically approved fashion). I applied the formula to various unsuspecting male friends and volunteers over the course of an afternoon, and eventually found a man with whom love would apparently last 12.9 years. But I don't fancy him. Neither does he fancy me. That's science for you.

The formula explained

L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C

L: The predicted length in years of the relationship

Y: The number of years the two people knew each other before the relationship became serious

P: The number of previous partners of both people added together

Hm: The importance the male partner attaches to honesty in the relationship

Mf: The importance the female attaches to money in the relationship

J: The importance both attach to humour (added together)

G: The importance both attach to good looks (added together)

Sm and Sf : The importance male and female attach to sex

I : The importance attached to having good in-laws (added together)

C: The importance attached to children in the relationship (added together)

• All measures can be scaled from 1 to 5 where 1 is not important at all and 5 is very important.

Research findings for same sex couples differed slightly with the formula being adjusted to L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + 2J - .3G - .5(S1 - S2)2 - I + 1.5C (where S1 and S2 are the two partners' ratings for the importance of sex).