Bullets whizz overhead and crash into the rusty barrel, saving me from a world of pain. All around me is a chaotic fog of anguished cries, fleeing bodies and would-be leaders shouting instructions into the ether.I check the coast, dart away and with a splat everything goes darkIf you are up for nursing a small colony of welts then the dusty paintball field in Fourways, Johannesburg, is the everyman's version of Black Hawk Down. This is the home of Battlezone Paintball, a theatre of war for those too lazy to join the military.The venue is the perfect substitute for the pants-wetting adrenaline rush of actual warfare. Combatants are given a camouflage jacket to protect below, a mask to help prevent blindness and facial contusions, and a gun.From there you have your choice of battlefields, which include Baghdad, Kuwait and Mogadishu. Each zone has different combat scenarios. Baghdad. is a maze of disconnected concrete walls that makes it dangerous to turn corners. This makes it more appropriate for an elimination-style death match.The Tower Field, however, is a mess of cubicles, hills, a river and rusty drums that are perfect for team games.For more information contact Battlezone Paintball on 086-146-8242. Other venues include The Woods Paintball at 011-234-5317.Durban: Hillcrest Paintball: 074-172-1309, Durban Paintball at 076-444-5570Cape Town: Lockdown Paintball at 021-823-9606, Paintball Aim at 079-178-0223..