The Big Read: Abused kids' parents in turn abused by system

For the families of children who suffered sexual abuse at school or by a teacher, the journey that follows is profoundly lonely, highly stressful and financially exhausting.

This is despite the initial outpouring of support often seen from authorities and community members when news of the abuse first breaks.

The parents of boys at Scottsville Primary School in Pietermaritzburg who were allegedly raped by a former school counsellor, have opened up about the painful process.

The counsellor, who was dismissed last year, allegedly raped boys between the ages of five and eight. He was granted bail on appeal in March.

The man, who holds a master's degree in psychology, denies the charges levelled against him.

The National Prosecuting Authority has confirmed his trial will begin at the end of next month, but the relatives of some of his alleged victims feel they have been left in the dark.

The mother of one said the affected families are trying to understand the legal process and how to help their children.

"Everyone has just moved on with their lives, he's got bail and there's no knowing what's going to happen.

"Preparation [of my child as a witness] for the High Court hasn't started yet, which is daunting," she said.

Another mother said she was disappointed with the lack of support from the school.

"The school has not messaged once or phoned to hear how my son is doing. There hasn't been one teacher that has come to support the boys.

"We feel completely ostracised by the whole community. It's been horrible. I feel so sorry for my children," she said.

"My son has violent outbreaks, is suicidal and has episodes of depression."

In addition to emotional stress, the families have suffered financial strain.

Although some of the alleged victims have remained at Scottsville Primary, others were moved to new schools by their parents - at their own cost.

One family transferred their children to another school, which cost about R30,000 in fees and new uniforms.

KwaZulu-Natal education department spokesman Muzi Mahlambi said a psychologist had been sent to the school to provide trauma debriefing.

"The parents were supported. Those who wanted to transfer their children were supported. The MEC was in court when that man appeared."

In the case of an eight-year-old girl, allegedly raped by other pupils at a school in Randburg, Johannesburg, it took weeks for counselling to be arranged.

Community member Karen Barras is close to the girl's family and said at first it was not clear what legal steps to take.

"It has been very confusing and frustrating for all involved as you are just left to figure it out for yourself.

"Something that has been extremely difficult for us to understand is the legal process and whether it has failed the victim," Barras said.

The girl will begin counselling at the Teddy Bear Clinic, which offers therapy and conducts forensic assessments to elicit information from victims about the details of an alleged crime.

"For victims of sexual trauma all they can think about is what happened to them. The logical thing is to contain that victim, therefore therapy is critical," the Teddy Bear Clinic's clinical director, Shaheda Omar, said.

The Randburg community has rallied around the girl's family and donated money, clothes, food and Uber trips to help them.

"A family has cooked the most delicious home-made comfort food dinner for them. Others have dropped off gorgeous dresses and new outfits for the little girl to cheer her up. Teddy bears, lunch boxes - you name it.

"When I saw her the other evening she had a big smile on her face for the first time in a while," Barras said.

Matrix Men, an organisation working with the parents of the Scottsville Primary victims, said when boys are abused there is often a lack of support.

"Society has this thing that boys can't open up about certain things. What we would like to see changed is the gender bias [in dealing with sexual offences]. Abuse does not discriminate. It happens to everyone," said the organisation's Hungani Ndlovu.