How to spark a chain reaction

Peter Delmar: When they come to write my obituary (ideally in the dim, distant future) I'm hoping to be described as "entrepreneur and philanthropist".

There was a time when I harboured visions of being remembered posthumously as "a stylish but swashbuckling right-hand opening batsman", but reality long ago took care of that silly little pretension.

So, as I approach my dotage, I now aspire to philanthropy. Philanthropy appeals because I would very much like to do something to uplift my fellow man - and because the attachment of the adjective implies that you were rolling in it when you kicked the bucket.

One cannot live a remotely middle-class existence in South Africa without daily reminders of how much poverty, hunger and deprivation surrounds us. Fortunately, we have a system that compels us to do something about this sea of poverty. It's called taxation. The idea is that when people make money, the state takes a slice of it, whether we like it or not. They use this money to buy things like roads, airports and multibillion-rand soccer stadiums which everyone can use (if they have lots of money, that is).

But here's the beauty of taxation: you take part of the kitty and you spend it on the really poor people. You give them child grants, pensions and free services and schooling. Thanks to the child grants and the free education, in a little while, everyone will have the same opportunities in life and the only people needing handouts will be the lazy ones.

That's the theory. The reality is that the state spends too much of our tax money on parastatal golden handshakes and submarines no one knows how to drive.

The other reality of taxation is that you can't take all the money from the people making it because they would then either stop going to all the bother of making the dosh, or emigrate.

In the bad old days our taxes paid for policemen to tear-gas people who resented living in semi-slavery, and were spent on blowing up neighbouring states where black men assumed they could run their own affairs. Nowadays we feel a lot better about handing over large swathes of our wealth, knowing that it is going to deserving causes.

(Of course, we feel righteously indignant when that money goes to social workers who won't work for society, or to teachers who are too lazy to teach - but that's another Pandora's can of hornets.)

The financial managers of our national destiny have to perform a tricky balancing act: they have to squeeze the economically active for every last penny without them wanting to give up, fire the workers and watch daytime TV all the time.

In the case of Sandy Nienaber they got it wrong. Nienaber, in case you weren't paying attention, is the latter-day suffragette who was so miffed at the taxman refusing to pay her a refund that she chained herself to a chair in the East London Receiver's office.

She was owed R140000 and, until she got it, was unable to realise her dream of opening a B&B in King Williams Town. Now, owning a B&B in King is not most people's idea of the high life, but it is Ms Nienaber's, so I say good for her.

Her B&B will no doubt employ a cleaning lady, somebody to make the breakfast and, probably, a gardener. It won't be Sun City, but it will be one of a thousand new little businesses that will create a bit of employment here and there, and will pay tax for decades to come.

After her protest attracted massive media attention (even the BBC phoned for a chat), Ms Nienaber was dismayed by all the fuss. "I'm highly embarrassed by this," she was reported as saying. "My family will be horrified."

I hope not. I'm sure they are as proud as punch, and I hope they're going to motivate you to carry on. You're on a roll. I'm sure somebody would sponsor you to chain yourself to Julius Malema until he promised to go away, or to an SAA jumbo jet to protest the billions taxpayers pour into the airline.

This chaining thing has legs, and I'm hoping you're going to run with it. I'm just thinking about what Chris Barron is going to write about you when (hopefully) a long time from now, your time's up.

• Just a thought: Is Fifa paying tax on all the wonga they're going to make out of staging the soccer tournament we've so obligingly paid for?