Anger is brewing

I have a colleague who takes my instant coffee off my desk. I'm willing to share, but I wish she would ask me.

SUPERNANNY

She is not respecting your personal space or belongings.

You can challenge her, or take a more subtle approach by putting your coffee in a drawer or handbag, and leaving an empty jar on your desk to see how she responds.

An alternative is to arrange a coffee kitty to which everyone is requested to contribute. The longer you leave this, the more difficult it will be to address. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser

SHRINK RAP

IN THESE situations it's useful to start by considering what your choices are and then playing out in your mind what would be the likely consequences.

Conflict is inevitable and all you can control is when that conflict happens and who will manage it .

You could say the conflict has started, but in a subversive passive-aggressive manner. Because you are not asserting your boundaries, your colleague either believes you have given tacit permission to use your coffee, or she does not care how you feel. Let's assume she is acting out of a sense of familiarity and friendship.

If you confront her it will appear as if you are not being a friend. If she is acting out of selfish indifference to your feelings, then allowing her to continue will make you feel humiliated and angry.

The longer this scenario continues, the harder it will be to confront without appearing to be the one who is acting in bad faith. - Leonard Carr