9 reasons why we would not want to live at Nkandla

With the whole furore surrounding Nkandla we have realised that it really is not a place that we would want to live.

Why? Here are 9 (very good) reasons:

1. Dangerous chickens that pose a security risk

2. Goatophobia and livestock apartheid is the order of the day

3. The hills are likely to collapse

4. The water pressure sucks

5. The Fire Department takes more than an hour to respond

6. There is no seating in the amphitheatre

7. Random people hang around to make the new version of Africa's Funniest Home Videos

8. Everyone in SA would have an opinion on what we do there

9. No home-cooked meals from MaNtuli

This article originally appeared on Daily Planet.