Scots canna give up on auld enemy

It is a well-known fact that the Scots are responsible for inflicting on the world two of the greatest social scourges known to mankind - the demon drink that is whisky and the infernal game of golf.

Whisky has ruined lives, families and livers, while golf has achieved something similarly catastrophic, if not being quite as hard on the liver.

But I write today not to disparage a race for whom I have only the highest regard, apart, that is, from Andy Murray. To their eternal credit the Scots gave us bagpipes, the deep-fried Mars bar, Hotshot Hamish, Sean Connery, Presbyterianism and porridge oats. And the Loch Ness Monster was entirely their own invention.

Then there is the small matter of the industrial revolution, the gift of a very clever Scotsman called James Watt, who didn't quite invent the steam engine but who did turn it into something useful. Watt, in case you've never heard of him, was the 18th-century genius whose surname is the "W" on your light bulbs.

For centuries Scots have been exporting themselves all over the world, with South Africa not the least of places where they have washed up.

For the most part, the Scots have diligently applied their Protestant work ethic and have been well liked, even if they are famous for being a bit tight with the money.

As much as they have been wandering the world for aeons, seeking out new opportunities, the Scottish diaspora has had as much to do with their heartfelt desire to get away from the auld enemy, the infernal English.

When they go to watch their rugby and soccer teams play, the Scots get terribly nationalistic, belting out Flower of Scotland, which commemorates a battle which the Scots, under Mel Gibson or some other blue-painted skirt-wearing semi-savage, fought and won over the invaders from the south all of 700 years ago.

And then, 300 years after the Act of Union, the Scots went to the polls a couple of weeks ago to vote on whether they wanted to sever formal ties with the UK.

For many of us halfway across the world the prospect of an independent Scotland was unthinkable.

Thank heavens reason prevailed and the UK as we know it will remain.

This just makes sense. When the jewel in the Scottish banking crown, the Royal Bank of Scotland, went belly up a few years ago it was London that came to the rescue, at hefty cost.

And although many in the pro-yes secession campaign trumpeted the belief that, if it went solo, Scotland could keep all the £1-trillion in loot coming out of North Sea oil, that argument is by no means clear cut. However much oil there is, it will run out, not in 300 years time but in decades. And then a Scotland that is part of Britain will be much better off than an independent one.

Oil apart, Scotland is a country endowed with few natural resources but it has done well for itself by producing clever people, lots of them. Such bright people do not want to be ruled by David Cameron and his toffy Oxbridge ilk.

Voting "no" was the smart move.

There is an added advantage to the referendum result: the world will not have to learn Gaelic. L ike it or not, business is much easier in English.

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