It's hard to find a non-American equivalent to match the brutal mystique of the Super Bowl. A World Cup final doesn't cut it because too many people around the world know how soccer works. Rugby and cricket - both confusing to the outsider - are not widespread enough to qualify, and the Olympics too diffuse.Outside of the US, the Super Bowl still leaves many of us bemused. It's a bit like American politics. A fortnight after Iowa we're still figuring out how those caucuses can reach a decision - and from such a poor selection. A day after the Super Bowl, I had to look up "strip-sack" only to find that it meant "tackled, man and ball".I didn't get to actually watch the game, so I need to be careful here, but according to most reports, even Louis van Gaal's Manchester United showed greater attacking flair than the Denver Broncos or the Carolina Panthers, whom they beat 24-10.There were some snatches of the game on TV that made the Super Bowl seem like a rock concert with a game of gridiron played in between the songs. If neither quarterback played well, they had nothing on Lady Gaga, who murdered The Star Spangled Banner. Perhaps someone should have strip-sacked her - mangler and mike, so to speak.Even Donald Trump found Sunday's 50th playing of the event "boring".It's unclear if this cost him votes last night in the New Hampshire primary. Patriotism is a big issue in the US presidential election and criticising the Super Bowl is like calling for gun control. Or, horrors, medicare for all. But, since the New England Patriots, who hail from that part of the Land of the Free, did not feature in this year's Super Bowl, perhaps no one would have noticed.There were moments, however. Beyoncé looked a shoo-in for MVP, until she almost slipped off the stage and the award for star performer went to Von Miller, a linebacker (or bodyguard) of the Broncos, whose two strip-sacks (there, I was hoping to show off my new-found knowledge) set up both his team's touchdowns (tries, for the dof among you).Beyoncé, Coldplay (again living up to their name) and Bruno Mars delivered what is loosely called "the entertainment", as if the football match could not provide that on its own. Again, I must be careful, but from the bits and pieces shown here on TV, it looked like an incoherent mess.The game itself, according to most reports, was lacklustre. Peyton Manning, the Broncos' quarterback, who turns 40 next month, completed just 13 of 23 passes (a poor performance if you didn't know) for a measly 141 yards with no touchdowns, an interception and a lost fumble, which is really a knock-on.Cam Newton, his opposite number, is 26 and does not have the excuse of being too old and had had a stellar regular season until Sunday. He completed only 18 of 41 passes for 265 yards. He knocked on twice, was intercepted once and tackled six times in possession.So, statistically, it was a poor game, but, as Dave Barry once pointed out, it remains the most important sporting event in the world as measured in total tons of free shrimp consumed by sportswriters. And that can't be a bad thing...