Pastry takesthe cake

The Bandit at Large: The weekend gets off to a culinary flyer with an off-duty dinner for two down at the local - Byzance restaurant in Lonehill.

"Is this work or pleasure?" asks chef patron Aristotle Ragavelas, eyes a-twinkle with merriment, as he sets before the Bandit the sort of dessert that could easily double as a yardstick of civilisation.

Bust. At the local. By Aristotelian logic, no less.

"Strictly pleasure," the Bandit answers.

But just one mouthful of the cinnamon sugar-dusted banana and chocolate-filled bombolino (the lightest, pillowiest doughnut imaginable) together with a smidgen of subtle banana-flavoured yogurt panna cotta that trembles with the an-tici-pation of an older more grateful woman's breast cupped in a warm hand, leaves the Bandit with no option.

It would be curmudgeonly, if not indeed criminal, to keep secret what is by some distance the dessert discovery of the year. A masterstroke of taste and texture that tops an impeccable meal in a beautiful restaurant.

And so to work on a grey, rainy Sunday morning. At the wholefood market that the chi-chi Blu Bird shopping centre in Atholl Oaklands breathlessly exclaims "enhances its position as an environmentally friendly centre that provides local entrepreneurs with a platform to bring high-quality local products to market thereby reducing the community carbon footprint!"

The Bandit, who has to make a 25km round trip, is simply green with envy, doll.

And no doubt that's not all. Not even nearly - if Blu Bird's website is to be believed.

The parking facility is awash with metallic silver high-end motors. The lift positively reeks of cologne and expensive leather loafers.

Stepping from the conveyance, the Bandit's eyes alight upon a table on which a range of pastries and biscuits is fetchingly arranged.

"Have me, now," demand the icing sugar-dusted custard mille feuilles sirens.

But the Bandit, bound like Ulysses to the mast of duty, is urged in dulcet tones by the beautiful Distraction first to weigh up what's on offer.

A table laden with tasty looking tarts and tartlets by Wild Olive Food Store catches the eye. As do two trays of chocolate brownies. The brownies in which ground almonds have been substituted for flour have the requisite soft-chewy centre but are somewhat lacking in terms of almost flaky, crisp bite. The standard batch, though excellent on both counts, still can't hold a candle to the Bar One brownies of which stepson Differ, 18, is a master.

To stave off pangs of hunger, the Bandit slips a vendor of Indian food a tenner for four chilli bites. Oily, granular and tasteless, they are a salutary warning on the pitfalls of shopping while hungry.

A gruffly charming bloke selling cheese comes to the rescue with a mercifully palate-cleansing cube of fried chilli haloumi made by Northcliff fromagerie the Flavourex Cheese Factory. Great squeak, not too salty and a comforting chilli warmth. The goats' milk Gorgonzola is a creamy winner, with seams of tangy bite.

Wedges of both find their way into the crew's shopping basket, the haloumi destined to be lightly floured and fried before it is mounted atop buttery wilted baby spinach. Served with crusty bread. Light Sunday supper sorted.

Lunch for the junior Bandits comes courtesy of a clearly popular no-name pie stall at which the stall holder appears to be making money hand over fist.

Doughboy, almost 21, scores the mini chicken pies tops for flaky, golden pastry, but they lose out to Riversands' chicken pies in the filling category.

At last the crew returns to pattisier Cheryl Amy Jones's table, there to capitulate to the enduring call of her decadent custard mille feuilles sirens.

Late-afternoon tea. One bite and all resistance crumbles. The velvety creme patissiere flecked with vanilla seeds is perfectly framed by thousands of leaves of buttery, hazelnutty puff pastry. What a way to run aground.

THE HIT LIST

Byzance:

Bombolini and banana yoghurt panna cotta: *****

Blu Bird wholefood market:

Cheryl Amy Jones's milles feuilles: *****