Appelbaum complaint breaks all the records

The National Consumer Commission gets 28000 calls a month, 8000 of which are dealt with.

It only meets its target of taking six weeks on an ordinary complaint and six months on a complex one 75% of the time.

Despite these statistics, the fight between Wendy Appelbaum and Auction Alliance's Rael Levitt cleared all of these hurdles with ease. In fact, it seems to have been "escalated".

Not only did Appelbaum happen to be one of the 8000 lucky ones to get through in the first place, on January 31, but her case was also quickly investigated.

In fact, the commission initiated its own investigation some time after February 22 and just over a month later has held a press conference announcing the outcome and issued a comprehensive 14-page statement.

I can only assume that, as this commission was set up to protect the ordinary consumer, this issue got no preferential treatment .

But I am struggling to think of another similar instance.

I have not lodged a complaintmyself, but I did send a question on behalf of a reader in May 2011. I received a letter acknowledging receipt, but that's all so far.

Cyril spreads himself thinly

CYRIL Ramaphosa has been appointed chairman of Optimum Coal. According to Who Owns Whom, he has another 13 directorships in major companies like Mondi, MTN, Standard Bank, SAB and Bidvest. He also has his own company, Shanduka, to manage.

That sounds like at least a handful of directorships too many.

Fancy term for sacking 3000

REALIGNMENT of operations. Reorganisation. Natural attrition. Restructuring exercise. Reassignments. Evolving strategies and processes.

None of these should be confused with retrenchment.

However, some or all of these euphemisms can lead to a company shedding more than 3000 jobs in a single year.

It could only happen in SA

YOU might think you're in South Africa when you get one of those adverts promising miracle ways to attract other people, win the lotto and enlarge various parts of your body.

But you will KNOW you are in South Africa when the ad promises that the good doctor can help you "win contracts & tenders from big companies & government", as the latest ads do.

• kleinm@sundaytimes.co.za