Theatre of hypocrisy

A few weeks ago, I attended a Wits colloquium held at the university's Business School. There, I listened to corporate leaders and university alumni debating solutions for public sector improvement. One person's suggestion that the private sector seize control of all government functions was met with a rupture of applause.

I rolled my eyes like a character in a Tyler Perry movie and thought: "Business, please."

There is fair criticism of our dysfunctional government. But let's not allow the dismal standards set by our government to take our eyes off the mediocrity of the customer experience provided by South African businesses.

I have had my share of torturous experiences, which would make a bodybuilder weep into a Nelson Mandela-emblazoned R100 note.

Sales staff at Game offered me a compound interest rate, which shouldn't be legal, when I bought appliances on credit - even though I had cash. Then, two guys delivered a washing machine and fridge - and left them a generous 10cm from my doorstep. They, at least, bothered to leave the appliances inside the house, but not in the kitchen. I was left to rage against the fortified industrial packaged machines and move the appliances on my own.

It was not until a week later, while on a date with an engineer, that I discovered that my washing machine's violent convulsions were not a factory fault, but I had to unscrew a thing-a-majig from the back. I abandoned the user manual after reading that "the installation of this appliance must be performed by a qualified technician or a service company".

Thank you, Game.

In an analogous situation, meanwhile, @Home, which was willing to sell me furniture on a weekend, informed me - post-purchase - that it only delivers during working hours. Yes, those working hours in which so many of its customers are at work, not at home.

Generally, special mention should go to the financial sector for its tendency to double-charge consumers for risk - high interest rates plus insurance for the debt anyone? - and how operating hours can be extended during the festive season for "your convenience" when most of us are on long breaks and can actually shop during normal hours. But they won't stay open when we need them to.

Our private sector is just as abusive as the public sector - often making decisions that make no sense to the customer. These people put up Christmas decorations before jacarandas have bloomed, leaving parents to deal with traumatised boys and girls who have been waiting for Santa for the last six months.

Digital service provision protests have become a regular phenomenon on Twitter, Facebook walls as well as Hellopeter.com, and woe unto thee if you don't have a large number of followers to goad a company's overworked digital team into action. Why should customers brag about how quickly our companies' resolve problems, rather than about seamless uninterrupted consumer experiences?

Just as "citizen-centricity" is a buzzword in government, customer-centricity, too, should be in business. Too few South African institutions understand the importance of putting the customer at the centre of how they operate. And possessing their mentality, these cocky captains of industry are just as likely to steer their ships in the same direction that Jacob Zuma's Titanic is headed, albeit slower.

Our businesses have no sense of irony when suggesting that they could run a world-class public service for South Africans.

Business men and women should be discussing how they can improve services for their paying customers before sending subliminal messages to government in their financial statement forewords.

Yes, government sucks, but our business leaders shouldn't get too smug either.