Hapless Bafana dancing to different tune

Sierra Leone Stars coach Lars Olof Mattsson was ready for war in Mbombela during their 0-0 draw with Bafana Bafana. The ageing Swede came out fully kitted in soccer boots, socks, shorts, jersey and even shin-guards - as a precaution in case nervous Bafana coach Pitso Mosimane, who was running around the touchline like a Libyan rebel, dished out a sliding tackle from the dugout.

•  NEWS flash: Bafana have decided to replace Mosimane with a top choreographer . Somizi "Madame Gigi" Mhlongo and Arthur "Vuvuzela" Mafokate are the frontrunners. The boys so enjoyed the dance session at the end of their draw against Sierra Leone, and the reviews have been so good, that the national team are thinking of putting on a show at the N ational T heatre that will make 'Sarafina' pale in comparison.

• SIERRA Leone players were seen drowning their sorrows at Capellos in Nelspruit after the match. Wearing the baggiest jeans ever seen , they happily mingled with girls, swayed their hips and imbibed some of the finest liquid on offer - before stumbling to their hotel.

• It was no surprise to see party animal Mark Fish at Capellos as well, holding the biggest beer mug in the whole of Mpumalanga. Tsamaya's well paid contributors revealed that the former Bafana and Orlando Pirates defender was gulping like a fish and partied until the cops came knocking. We are still wondering what time he went to bed - if he slept at all.

• FORMER Bafana and Jomo Cosmos star Lebogang Morula appeared in the Ga-Rankuwa Magistrate's Court on Tuesday. The once "slippery" midfielder could not manoeuvre past the police and was arrested after stolen goods worth R3.4-million were found in a warehouse he allegedly owns. Morula was a member of the SA squad at the 1998 World Cup in France. What was he thinking?

• AFRICAN countries can be brutal. Just ask Italian voyager Dario Bonetti, who was fired hours after guiding Chipolopolo of Zambia to the Cup of Nations tournament. "Yes, we have qualified for the finals but we strongly believe the team could have done far better. The team has more potential than that. Our aim is to see Zambia once more becoming a force to reckon with in continental football and we want to go to the finals in Equatorial Guinea and Gabon to do well," said the Zambian federation .

• OUT-OF-FAVOUR former SA goalkeeper Rowen Fernandez took a potshot at Bafana's Itumeleng Khune for his time-wasting antics last week. "If you're going to play for time, fine. But don't celebrate afterwards, jumping around as if you're not injured after all. That just made him look like an idiot. Just do everything professionally, which I think applies to everyone involved," Fernandez wrote on his website. Fernandez is reviving the rivalry after the two keepers slugged it out at Chiefs and later at Bafana.

• YOUR favourite column would like to congratulate mighty Kaizer Chiefs on winning the "much-heralded" Macufe Cup on Sunday. They all count these days, don't they?