Conspiracy theories thrive on fear and anger, so it made sense that, as SA lurched from the already-awful stage 4 load-shedding to the pre-apocalyptic stage 6 on Wednesday, the theorists were out in full force.
Some explained to me that Andre de Ruyter has been hired by Cyril Ramaphosa to break Eskom so it can be privatised and sold to British and American oligarchs.
Others told me Radical Economic Transformation saboteurs are trying to collapse the national grid so that the public clamours for nuclear power stations to be built by Russian oligarchs.
I struggle to believe either of these.
It’s not that I trust British, American and Russian oligarchs, or don’t think the ANC would sell its own mother to make a buck.
Both options, however, would require SA to be brought to within an inch of total collapse while still being a lucrative (and relatively safe) investment for the aforementioned oligarchs, and I just don’t believe the ANC has the skill to carry out such a delicate and dangerous operation.
Still, there is a world of wickedness between complete innocence and Machiavellian plots by shadowy international cabals. And a third theory, tentatively suggested on Wednesday by altogether more sensible theorists, has the dismal ring of truth to it.
It’s not just about making Ramaphosa look weak and indecisive. After all, he doesn’t need any help in that department.
According to this version of reality — and let’s be honest, right now objectivity is gone and we’re all just surfing between competing realities — Eskom is being deliberately broken but for much more short-term and low-grade goals than inviting in foreign interests.
In this iteration, Eskom is being broken simply to heap pressure on, and to incite rage against, Ramaphosa and the current democratic dispensation.
Let me repeat: this is a conspiracy theory. Yet if we believe Ramaphosa’s own words, repeated by De Ruyter, Eskom is being sabotaged; and the only people who benefit from that sabotage in the short term — other than the people supplying the diesel that’s keeping SA alive — are the political enemies of the president, riding particularly high after the last week’s section 89 report and perhaps eager to strike while the iron is hot and the power stations are cold.
It’s not just about making him look weak and indecisive. After all, he doesn’t need any help in that department. Rather, it is about creating the conditions that will give the saboteurs the best chance at taking back power, namely, chaos.
If the already-dysfunctional Eskom is under physical attack, and more “breakdowns” force a retreat from stage 6 to stage 7 or worse, a gatvol, a stressed but resigned country may become stressed, angry and frightened. And history tells us that when a stressed, angry and frightened people, burdened with weak, corrupt and rudderless government, faces the prospect of collapse, it will give itself to anyone who expresses its anger, promises quick and easy fixes, and threatens public humiliation and retribution for the people who brought the country down.
In short, lame duck Ramaphosa, Eskom and their opponents are setting the stage for a genuine SA tyrant.
He might not arrive. He might mistime his lunge for power, scheduling his first speech during a particularly spicy episode of Uyajola 9/9, or forgetting to tell his lieutenant to bring extra batteries for his megaphone. He might simply not be charismatic enough, or the spooks might see him coming and stuff him into a couch on a game farm before he can make his pitch.
He might not even exist. But the fact remains that not since the early 1990s has there been a better moment to be an aspiring despot in SA than right now.
The lights are flickering.
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