Playing an abusive husband made Patrick Shai stop abusing

Growing up around men who abused the women in their lives made actor Patrick Shai believe what he was doing to his wife was not wrong.

It was during his stint as an abusive husband on Soul City 15 years ago that made him realise just how he was abusing his wife and children.

Now, a changed man, Shai is an activist and one of the few voices of thousands of abusive men through Brothers For Life - a social and health mobilisation campaign for men.

The organisation has called on 50 000 men to take a stand against violence towards women and children at a rally this Saturday.

The ‘Not In My Name’ rally, led by Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe, stems from a partnership between the South African National Aids Council (SANAC) and Brothers For Life.

Gauteng chairman for SANAC men’s sector, Matshele Lekwe, said the rally – the first of its kind in the country – will see men openly proclaim their stance on violence.

“The time has come to call on all men to no longer stand on the sidelines and watch other men get away with heinous crimes.

“We do not want to live in a country where children run away out of fear for their safety when they see men. The time has come to do something positive.”

Reported rape cases for the 2011/2012 period increased by 7% from those in 2004/2005, with 9239 cases reported between April 2011 and March 2012.

Nearly 65 000 sexual offences — half of which involved children — were reported nationally between 2011 and 2012.

The rally — which takes place at the Johannesburg Stadium — also calls on men to reduce the spread of HIV/AIDS and TB by promoting good health habits.

Women’s Legal Centre attorney Sithuthukile Mkhize applauded the initiative, saying men taking a stand against ending violence and abuse against women and children was positive.

“It is also an indication that the voices are increasing — especially as these are voices from the opposite sex. More voices will create a greater impact,” Mkhize said.

Gauteng Community Safety MEC Faith Mazibuko in February this year released figures showing that only 55.59% of 23086 rapes reported to police between 2010/2011 and the third quarter of 2012/2013, were referred to the National Prosecuting Authority.

Of the rapes reported in Gauteng, only 8.2% resulted in successful convictions.

The unsuccessful prosecutions were because cases were either referred back to police for further investigation or thrown out of court due to incomplete investigations.

Mkhize said the constant delays in prosecutions, which result in victims re-living their traumatic experiences, showed weaknesses in the implementation of the criminal justice system.