For a few pedals more

When former professional cyclist Tyler Hamilton was at the peak of his career he returned home to a hero's welcome and a parade in the streets of his home town, Marblehead, Massachusetts.

He "should have been on top of the world" in 2003, but he was about to be diagnosed with depression.

Hamilton spoke at the Discovery Vitality summit in Johannesburg yesterday and detailed the "dark days" of cycling when he and most of the top cyclists were using EPO (erythropoietin), a drug that boosts red blood cell production.

He also touched on his fight with depression, a disease that runs in his family. He "is certain" he had fought depression all his life, but was only diagnosed with it shortly after riding the 2003 Tour de France with a broken collarbone.

He came fourth in the race and won a stage, even though his team had expected him to quit due to the excruciating pain.

"People loved that I had ridden with a broken collarbone. From outside, it looked like things are good for this guy," he said.

But two weeks after going home: "I couldn't even move. I was immobile. I was depressed."

He believes mental health disorders should not be stigmatised nor kept secret.

"People with cancers that are genetic get sympathy. Why shouldn't people with depression? It's genetic. My grandmother had it and blew her head off 13 years ago. My mother has it; my sister."

Hamilton is sure his depression worsened due to doping secrets "eating me up from inside out".

In 2012, he broke the code of silence, or "omerta", in cycling after he and author Daniel Coyle released their book The Secret Race.

"It was harder than riding any Tour de France. I am not proud of what's in that book. I am proud of finally telling the truth."

His book asks: "What would you do if you were near the top of your career and had to dope to stay there?"

Hamilton chose to use EPO.

He admits he was forced into telling the truth when he was subpoenaed in 2010 to testify during the Lance Armstrong saga. But telling the truth "set me free", he says.

The cyclist still struggles with depression from time to time.

"If it comes, there's no point resisting it. I roll with it. I chill out."

Hamilton challenged the audience in Johannesburg yesterday to think before bending the rules.

"In every industry there are unwritten rules. When you are confronted with the choice and [you need to be dishonest to succeed], understand there is a price to pay."