God is on the side of those cooking or eating carbs

Please humour me. I know I spent last week's column complaining about current food trends, but well, I just need to do a little more complaining. Next week I'll do my utter best to be all (or perhaps mostly) sweetness and light.

It's the Paleolithic thing that's irking me: the virtually-no-carb, high-protein religion, based on our hairy cave-dwelling ancestors' diets, and which even has its own magazine. It might be one of the less nonsensical food fads around than most, but still, I balk at the cultish, die-hard thing it has become. Anything so extremist - be diet, religion or politics - you want to worry about.

Obviously, the Paleo aspects of eschewing processed foods and sugar are laudable, sensible and most necessary to health. But do we need to throw out the baby with the bathwater? No rice? No oats? No dairy? Most people are going Paleo for weight loss. But let's think about it. Millions of Thais, Cantonese, Vietnamese and others have been scoffing rice for centuries. Are they slender? Does the pope eat pasta? Come on now, not all carbs are the same. Are we really going to paint marshmallows, proper sourdough rye-bread, bananas and beer with the same brush? Aren't we a little more sophisticated and intelligent than that?

America is overwhelmingly diabetic, while those Asian communities not yet living on Western cr*p are not. So - unless you're already dinkum diabetic - how about instead of saying no to carbs for the rest of your life, just say no to processed junk? Much easier.

In the spirit of otherwiseness and good old-fashioned (sensible) enjoyment, herewith a small sample of my favourite carb delights in Johannesburg:

Masala dosa

Based at the Dosa Hut in Fordsburg. Crisp, ground-rice crepe of great delicacy, filled with simply spiced potato. Never have as a takeaway. Call 011-492-1456. 48 Central Road, Fordsburg.

Dim sum

Sublime dumplings and other small, mostly starchy, offerings are enjoyed at these places, especially on Sundays. Dim sum is proof that gods of all denominations are firmly on the side of people cooking and eating carbs. Go big: Shun Dek, 011-615-7168. 23 Derrick Avenue, Cyrildene. Go small: Ming Woo, 011-833-5924, 4A Commissioner Street, CBD.

Proper pretzels

One of the few places you can still get the real deal: studded with salt nuggets, shiny with lye on the crust, soft and velvety inside. Go pre-lunch to catch them fresh. Black Forest Bakery, 011-403-0065, 102 Juta Street, Braamfontein.

Lemon polenta cake

Still the most elegant, damply delicious cake in the city; by the slice or as whole cake if you pre-order. Service Station, Bamboo Centre, 011-726-1701. Corner 9th Street and Rustenburg Road, Melville.