How to survive colleagues

30 June 2015 - 02:02 By ©The Daily Telegraph

You can choose your friends, but not your family - and you can choose your job, but not the people you work with - so many of us spend eight hours a day working alongside (or even reporting to) the last people we would pick. There's not much you can do with people who are total a-holes except minimise your exposure to them and hope they leave or get sacked. But what about your semi-tolerable bad colleagues? Those who are annoying and obstructive and selfish - but not unbearable. What can you do about them?The TalkerThis person doesn't realise that the only acceptable replies to "How's it going?" are one or two words. What makes them such a bad colleague is the volume of your time they waste. with their banal monologues. Worse still is the Talker's downbeat twin, the Moaner, who is all of the above, but with added self-pity and negativity.Coping Strategies: Always have something pressing you need to get on with. Set up a system with colleagues whereby if The Talker has cornered you, one will call you away on urgent business.The MicromanagerTheir control freakery means they'll interfere with every task they set you and drive you nuts. They can ruin relationships with those below you as they micromanage more than one level down.Coping Strategies: Help them worry less; remember, they are insecure.The Over-Committed ColleagueThere's nothing wrong with people who consistently give 110%, but they're a Godawful pain to work with because the way they always go the extra mile draws attention to the fact that you don't.Coping Strategies: Try to ensure that you never work on exactly the same tasks as them - and so avoid direct comparisons.The Person on Their Way OutWe're assuming the soon-to-be-exited individual is not a star who's been head-hunted but an also-ran being nudged towards the door. You don't want to be associated too closely with damaged goods.Coping Strategies: A tough one. All you can really do is ensure that you put your own interests first.The Cool Guy (or Girl)They're the fun person who breaks all the rules and is a really bad influence. They drink four pints at lunch, talk back to managers and show up late. And their careers do not seem to suffer.Coping Strategies: Be their friend but keep some distance because you do not have their "Get Out of Jail Free" card.The Beneficiary of NepotismYes, we all know that, because of his daddy, Jamie will rise far while more talented colleagues fall by the wayside - and we know there's nothing we can really do.Coping Strategies: Tell yourself that cream is not the only thing that floats to the top and that, if he is useless, he might be found out.The Office GossipThe Office Gossip is a lot of fun to be around. We all love to bitch about colleagues. But if you become too close to them, you, too, will be tarred with the bitchy brush.Coping Strategies: Use them if you want "secrets" broadcast and feed them interesting but unimportant titbits.The Fast-TrackerThis is the colleague who, through skill, luck and ambition, is rising through the ranks faster than you. Because they see themselves as future leaders, they will often talk down to peers.Coping Strategies: Avoid standing in their way. Make sure they know what your talents and skills are - they are more likely to value you if they know you can be useful.The Brown NoserThe brown-noser will be so fixated on toadying that he'll treat you with indifference and neglect work he's meant to be doing with you.Coping Strategies: A reputation for ass-kissery is not a good one to have, but recognise that some "brown nosers" are actually just very charming people. ..

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