Lightning strikes from above and below at the Wanderers

A beery mix of messages is brewed in the stands that rise steeply from the boundary at the Wanderers.

Most of them are meant to offer support to the team of the crowd’s choice‚ but ugliness is often also in the house.

All of those emotions are‚ of course‚ intangible. But an all to real symbol of ugliness runs from outside the dressingrooms to the boundary.

It’s the plexiglass tunnel that was erected in the wake of Merv Hughes’s and a spectator’s explosion of expletives that culminated in the fast bowler smashing his bat into the metre-high fence that separated him from his antagoniser.

That was in March 1994 in a match that was also blighted by Hughes’ verbal abuse of Gary Kirsten and Shane Warne’s outrageous send-off of Andrew Hudson.

Has a meeker pair of players than Kirsten and Hudson ever roamed a cricket ground?

And why hasn’t the Wanderers‚ where some of cricket’s most innovative marketing struts its stuff‚ not thought of getting Hughes‚ who’s around with a group of travelling Aussie fans‚ to unveil a plaque proclaiming‚ “The Merv Hughes Tunnel”?

Wisden said of the Warne incident that “rarely on a cricket field has physical violence seemed so close”.

Clearly‚ Wisden hasn’t spent enough time at the Wanderers‚ where the seed for violence is probably sewn in the cars sludging their way‚ one tyre revolution at a time‚ towards a parking spot in what would be a significantly less congested area if it didn’t have to put up with a stadium‚ a golf course and a sports club — all named Wanderers — in its midst.

And‚ being Joburgers‚ each of them wants to drive their own car there‚ further clogging roads that are falling into disrepair as a result.

Things don’t get much easier for fans once they’ve parked and made their way to their seats. Concourses are narrower than in many modern grounds and therefore more crowded‚ which can make buying a beer and a boerewors roll or going to the toilet a tedious business.

But these are‚ as we said‚ Joburgers: they put up with the banal hellishness of William Nicol Drive just to be able to walk under the fake starry‚ starry sky of the unmentionably tawdry Monte Casino.

What’s an extra few minutes in a beer queue‚ which you can spend working on your anger management?

Besides‚ despite the speedbumps‚ a lot of beer goes down throats regardless. And a lot of nastiness comes up those throats.

As long as it’s limited to words‚ it’s manageable. As we saw at Newlands in the third test between South Africa and Australia‚ the worst offenders are removed from the ground.

But another side of the character of the common or garden Joburger is intense competitiveness.

So those okes in PE thought they were being 'breekers' by turning up in Sonny Bill Williams masks? And in Cape Town they went quietly when the cops arrived?

Just you wait‚ china‚ we’ll show you how to play this game when the Aussies come to Wanderers.

That is‚ of course‚ a composite caricature. But it is also a flavour of the kind of stuff that has been flying around social media this week‚ and a far less vicious version.

Now the Aussies have indeed come — the fourth test starts at the Wanderers on Friday.

More often than not the Wanderers is a wonderful place to watch cricket‚ the electricity in the stands competing with lightning bolts from above for atmospheric superiority.

If the Wanderers is for you‚ who can be against you?

Not even a team who score 434/4 in a one-day international. As every cricket-minded South African knows and every Australian has tried to forget‚ South Africa’s reply at the Wanderers on March 12‚ 2006 was 438/9.

But the ugliness can strike like one of those lightning bolts‚ and even though its probable prime target has been removed what with the despised David Warner now banned and out of harm’s way in Australia‚ it won’t take much to spark violence.

We’ve seen enough of what isn’t cricket since the Australians arrived.