Parenting is a personal issue

Jackie May: I have been chastised. By a good friend.

You know how when you've just popped a baby, everybody and the kitchen sink has got to tell you how to raise your child?

Remember how annoying that time was? Perhaps you're in that phase now.

I had a flashback to that irritation I felt in those early days of my parenting this week when I was told off for being late for school.

Right now my family life is chaotic. We've been camping out at friendly people's homes while our house has been painted, and fixed for our move - which has taken forever. It's been unsettling for the children. And getting them dressed and ready for school is extra specially taxing.

The particular morning of my parenting faux pas was hell. My husband disappeared before dawn. We were staying far from our lives, and getting to school entailed crossing many large roads.

The child in question became very anxious as soon as she saw the horrible morning traffic we had to battle against.

We got to school five, maybe 10, minutes late, but were the last ones to arrive for a special assembly. I felt terrible. My child and I made up. By the end of the assembly she had recovered.

But it seems my friend hadn't. Days later, she had to tell me never to be late again. I know that she has my child's best interests at heart.

But I do too. Must I stop working, and spend my days packing lunch boxes and preparing for early morning departures? And, must I leave all financial responsibility to my NGO-employed, writer husband? He wouldn't allow it. We owe the bank a small fortune.

Actually the real reason I work is for my girls. I want them to be self-sufficient, independent, spirited women one day. If I had to stop working, what message would I be sending them?

For me it feels right to work. I would be miserable at home folding the laundry and getting everything ready for early departures. And so, not everything runs smoothly at home. Learning to deal with this, I hope, will give my children coping skills for their unpredictable adult lives.