Review: 2017 Brabus G63

If you are one of those who likes to blend into the crowd, then stop reading now. If you are looking forward to a future where silent electric cars are whizzing through the streets, then stop reading now. And if you often have to get up to catch an early flight and don’t want to wake the kids or the neighbours, then stop reading now.

But if you like to make a statement and, more importantly, if you like to make some noise then read on, because the Brabus G63 definitely makes some noise — lots of noise. It is the opposite of subtle, particularly in bright yellow.

Essentially, of course, it is a Mercedes-AMG G63, which means it is a big box on wheels with a phenomenal pedigree, an all-wheel drive system, loads of ground clearance and a monster biturbo V8 under the bonnet that produces 420kW and 760Nm.

Then Daytona Group, the Brabus agent in SA, gets hold of it and adds some Brabus kit. This includes new front and rear bumpers, daytime running lights, black headlights, a roof spoiler, illuminated door sills, Brabus badging and more serious gear shift paddles behind the steering wheel. Then there are huge 23-inch wheels with low-profile rubber, a carbon fibre bonnet attachment and a valve-controlled exhaust.

Now I admit I am not immune to using the odd cliche although I try hard not to, but no car has ever been as appropriate for being described as a one-inch punch. Start it and the world around you shakes and everyone dives for cover, but then you touch the accelerator slightly and this massive hulk of metal jumps forward with a real roar.

At the request of numerous motorists around me on the highway, it was impossible not to dab the throttle so they could hear the noise and see it lurch. People took pictures, videos and one passenger tried to do a selfie with the G63 in the background. As I said, not a subtle, blend into the crowd kind of car.

The interior has all the usual G-Class items meaning lots of creature comforts and it all somehow seems to stand the test of time. The Gelandewagen just keeps going, in spite of its age which you notice when you close the door and it clunks like an old 1970s classic. It refuses to disappear, although an updated version is on the way and word is that Mercedes is even considering replicating the design in a smaller version based on the A and B-Class platform.

It might have plenty of presence and plenty of luxury, but on the road those low profile 23-inch wheels transmit every bump in the road to the occupants. Do not expect S-Class levels of comfort here. The driving position feels like you are in a pimped out van and you bump along as that exhaust roars and the engine dumps all its power through the wheels and the thing leaps forward with every touch of the throttle.

It still has masses of ground clearance and a whole bank of buttons for diff-locks so you can go off-road. Except that you can’t, or rather you wouldn’t, at least not with those wheels.

It would be easy for me to say the Brabus G63 is a bit pointless, a bit outdated. For many that is true — but damn is it cool.

There is something about the beloved Gelandewagen that is totally endearing. Perhaps it is because it ignores all the rules — it’s a rebel. And it certainly doesn’t get much more rebellious than the Brabus version. – Mark Smyth