Family mourns 12-year-old son’s suicide after alleged homophobic slur from teacher

An intelligent and bubbly Sibusiso Mbatha wanted to be an orthopaedist who would cure anyone from his home. 

This is how a devastated mother described her son, who committed suicide on Monday after he was allegedly bullied about his sexual orientation at Khehlekile Primary School, in Thokoza, East Rand. 

“The boy had so many goals, he was very intelligent at school. He had told me ‘Mama when I am an adult, no-one will be ill here at home for as long as I am still alive. I want to be a famous doctor,” said a teary Nompumelelo Mbatha. 

She said her 12-year-old son was a top pupil in class and often achieved high marks in all his subjects at school. 

Seated on a mattress, clad in a blanket and surrounded by her sisters, a burning candle placed close to the window melted slowly as she recalled the events that led to her son’s death.

A sombre mood filled the air as she spoke about how her son, who was very close to her, like a friend, spent most of his time with her. “He was like my cellphone, wherever I went it was always the two of us. In the evening before he went to bed, he would say ‘bye mommy, I love you, sleep tight’ and in the morning when he woke up he would do the same,” she said. 

Mbatha said her son’s death had destroyed her. She had been reliant on her tablets, and if she hadn’t taken them, she believed she would have collapsed and died. 

“He was friendly, bubbly, always happy and noisy. He was a hyper child and still focused on his schoolwork. He had so many friends, I don't know how many used to come to him here,” she said.

She said her child was homosexual and she saw, even when he was young at the pre-school, that his sexual orientation had never been a problem at home and in the community.

It is said that our son was told to leave his ‘gayism’ outside the school gate. This kind of derogatory and discriminatory language is unacceptable and should never be tolerated within the walls of an educational institution.

—  Nozipho Nkosi, family spokesperson

The Khehlekile Primary School grade 6 pupil on Monday hanged himself in the family bathroom. He was apparently distraught over a bullying incident allegedly instigated by a teacher. 

When Sibusiso arrived home on Monday, he threw his schoolbag on the floor and sat next to his mother. He told her he wouldn’t go to school the next day.

His mother disapproved and told him there was no way he wasn’t going to school since he was writing his exams. He kept quiet, and after a while, he took his phone and went to his bedroom and told his mother he was waiting for his sister to return from school. 

When his sister returned, he told her there was a teacher who had spoken badly to him, but when she asked what happened, he told her it was a story for another day.

“We didn’t pay enough attention, and it was later that he hanged himself in the bathroom,” she said. 

The family released a statement seeking answers, pleading for justice for their beloved son and calling for further investigation.

“We are determined to uncover the truth surrounding the circumstances that led to his untimely passing. On October 23 2023, our lives were shattered when we received the devastating news of Sibusiso’s suicide.

“He was a bright, loving and vibrant 12-year-old boy with dreams and aspirations, whose life was filled with immense potential. His loss has left an irreplaceable void in our hearts, one that can never be filled,” said family spokesperson Nozipho Nkosi. 

She said the events leading to his death raised many questions and concerns.

She added they believe it is their moral obligation, not only to Sibusiso but also to every child in their community, to seek justice and ensure no other family has to endure such a tragedy.

“The reports that our son was involved in a physical altercation with another pupil are deeply troubling. We acknowledge that conflicts among young people can occur, but we cannot ignore the alleged comments made by a teacher during the aftermath of this incident.

“It is said that our son was told to leave his ‘gayism’ outside the school gate. This kind of derogatory and discriminatory language is unacceptable and should never be tolerated within the walls of an educational institution,” she added. 

Nkosi said they were dedicated to ensuring their son’s memory is honoured by promoting a safe and inclusive environment in all schools.

“No child should ever feel marginalised, discriminated against, or unsafe while pursuing their education. We call upon the community, educators and policymakers to come together to create an environment where every child can thrive and be themselves without fear,” she said.

Mbatha said the teacher allegedly confessed to the family and he visited them after the tragic incident. The mother said she wants to see justice. “I will never see my son ever again. This thing should stop, we are parents, and we are still going to give birth to children who may be homosexual, so where should they live?” she asked.

Sibusiso’s uncle, Sipho Mbatha, said the department of education should teach pupils about sexual orientation and pleaded with teachers to stop discriminating. 

“Sometimes some of the kids don’t understand this and they use that to discriminate against other kids. I plead to the teachers to teach kids that despite their sexual orientation they are all the same. Whether you are gay or not, we are all the same. Look at where we are now, and it is because of discrimination,” he said. 

Gauteng MEC for education Matome Chiloane visited the family on Thursday to offer his condolences and support. He announced that he would appoint an independent law firm to assist the department with its investigation into the suicide.

“At the centre of the report is to investigate those who may have done wrong and those who should be held accountable but lastly, more importantly, is the recommendation that will assist the department to ensure that such incidents never happen again in our schools.

“The family says the teacher came and confessed that he did say these particular words,” said Chiloane, adding this would be investigated.

He assured the family they would get the report.