They say every accusation is a confession, and while that might not always be true, it certainly seemed to be the case this week as the tiny Al Jama-ah party tried to force its agenda on the majority by insisting that LGBTQ+ people are trying to force their agenda on the majority.
In case you missed the story, perhaps because you don’t follow the dissentient babbling of peripheral zealots, the short version is that some South Africans have been whipped into a religious frenzy by Woolworths expressing cautious support for Pride Month.
For many bigots, this is obviously very upsetting, since everyone in their little WhatsApp hate groups knows that if you eat a rotisserie chicken from a shop in which there is a rainbow, you will turn instantly gay and forfeit the chance to go and live with the god of infinite love when you die.
Al Jama-ah, however, has gone one step further, demanding that LGBTQ+ people not be allowed to contribute to a new government white paper on families, presumably to save Al Jama-ah officials from being exposed to an idea from the past 100 years.
Speaking to Newzroom Afrika’s Stephen Grootes, gay panic sockpuppet and party spokesperson Shameemah Salie complained that Woolworths was displaying “provocative images” in its stores. It goes without saying that I rushed straight to my nearest Woolies to see and possibly purchase some of these images, but perhaps I went to the wrong store because all I saw was pictures of fully dressed same-sex couples enjoying life together.
Likewise, her claim that “we are already living in Sodom and Gomorrah” was a cruel overstatement: I have been to only one orgy this year, and the only pillar of salt I’ve seen was the one I was forced to build on my extremely forgettable supper at a Cape Town Greek restaurant earlier this week.
The rest, however, was boilerplate. Grootes did as well as anyone could hope while speaking to stupid self-righteousness made flesh, but Salie — an advocate, if you can believe it — wasn’t there to have a conversation. Instead, she was there to warn about the LGBTQ+ “agenda”, which, she explained, is being “pushed” because LGBTQ+ people are suffering from an “internal jihad” which makes them feel insecure.
At least this last claim confirmed the fact that Salie has never actually met an LGBTQ+ person, let alone had one as a friend, and, like many bigots, is simply parroting lines taught to her in childhood by frightened men. It’s a relief to know there aren’t any LGBTQ+ people in her life having to tolerate someone who so clearly holds them in such supreme contempt.
It was also quite something to hear Salie position herself as the voice of the outraged majority, warning LGBTQ+ people that their views were not widely shared in South Africa, while she works for a party that is supported by — let me just grab my magnifying glass so I can read this microscopic number — 0.087% of eligible voters.
But perhaps the claim that stuck with me the most was where she accused Grootes, now apparently the mouthpiece of the LGBTQ+ “agenda”, of “trying to break down the faith of others”.
Now, I’m not a religious person, so it’s possible there’s some theological argument I’m ignorant of, but I can’t help wondering: if the mere existence of a group of people who you don’t know and don’t interact with can “break down” your faith, just how fragile is your faith? Is the problem LGBTQ+ relationships, or is the problem your relationship with yourself?
