This week we were supposed to be shocked that almost a fifth of Americans believe that Taylor Swift is being used by the Pentagon as part of a vast conspiracy to get Joe Biden re-elected in November. Please, man. I live in a country where 25% of adults believe the ANC should get another term in office. You’re going to have to do better than that.
Even by US standards the Taylor-As-Deep-State-Asset theory is pretty lame. Okay, so 18% of Americans believe that she is part of a dark psy-op to rig the Super Bowl and tip the election Biden’s way — and? Almost 50% of them believe Donald Trump — a man who just encouraged Russia to attack any Nato member that doesn’t pay an imaginary membership fee invented by Trump — should be the country’s next president.
And it’s not just the MAGA cult of fake victimhood that is doubling down on delusion in the US.
Across the aisle, Democrats — along with many other so-called liberals right around the world — have watched Israel kill at least 15,000 Palestinian civilians after Hamas killed 700 Israeli civilians, and have decided that the best next step isn’t a ceasefire but rather to send more ammunition Tel Aviv.
Of course, we’re not immune here, either.
Just this week Julius Malema announced that the EFF wants to establish a R100bn sovereign wealth fund. I’m not sure how many building societies you’d have to pillage to get to R100bn, but I do know that anyone who believes the EFF could put this fund together and then administer it for the good of all South Africans is an ideal candidate for some home-grown conspiracy theories, like, say, that Tyla’s Grammy award contained a 5G-powered laser that made it rain over the Moses Mabhida Stadium over the weekend.
If enough people put their cross next to Zuma to give him a seat or two in the National Assembly, then all we can do is think about how we got here, and try to understand why someone might want to hitch their wagon to an 81-year-old dumpster fire.
And that’s to say nothing of the recent projections that Jacob Zuma’s party could take half of the ANC’s votes in KwaZulu-Natal and put the giggling wrecking-ball back in parliament.
Then again, who am I to try to overturn legitimate democratic outcomes? Donald Trump? No, if a majority of Americans vote freely and fairly to live in a theocracy, nominally led by a pathological liar and con-man, then the people have spoken, and all we can do is get to work stocking our bunkers with tinned food and iodine tables for when Trump feeds Eastern Europe to Vladimir Putin.
Likewise, if enough people put their cross next to Zuma to give him a seat or two in the National Assembly, then all we can do is think about how we got here, and try to understand why someone might want to hitch their wagon to an 81-year-old dumpster fire.
How we got here, however, is a long and contested path; and as we lurch ever deeper into a year of massive elections around the world, in which not just democracy but reality in general is going to be on the ballot, we are going to be asked to believe increasingly unhinged things.
So how do we stay sober? It’s getting harder. But perhaps for now, hold on to some of the great truths of election campaigns.
You can’t fool all of the people all of the time.
He who pays the piper calls the tune.
There’s no such thing as a free lunch, or a R100bn sovereign wealth fun run by Floyd Shivambu.
Still, if the MAGA crazies are right, and Taylor Swift is all that stands between the US and the Handmaid’s Tale, then we’re in way more trouble than we thought ...
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