Days of loneliness and misery for premier with skin rash

Among those who had to drag themselves to Cape Town for the opening of parliament was Limpopo premier Cassel Mathale.

With his good friend Julius Malema preoccupied with appealing his disciplinary sentence and his province under the management of Pravin Gordhan, he cut a lonely figure.

He was spotted, sans entourage, at Cubana nightclub in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Misery, they say, loves company.

Then Mathale had to endure the opening ceremony, where he was treated by several ANC luminaries as though he had a contagious skin rash.

In his speech, President Jacob Zuma announced big plans to expand rail and road infrastructure in Limpopo.

It was not lost on those listening that Mathale and his cohorts would play no role in any of this, as all contracts are now signed off by the national government.

He just doesn't get it, does he?

WHILE Mathale was sailing the icy seas of political isolation, Malema issued his first public statement since his guilt on disciplinary charges was confirmed by the ANC last weekend.

Said he: "We did not commit anything wrong against the movement. The only thing we did was to speak about how the land must be restored to its original owners."

Mmmm. Hogarth is sure there were many more charges, each one of which was elaborated on in great detail by Cyril Ramaphosa last Saturday. Maybe he needs to watch the tape again.

Decorum out the window

BACK to the opening of parliament. Hogarth was impressed by the brave couture on display on the red carpet ahead of the opening speech on Thursday afternoon.

But MPs sometimes seem to lose sight of their station.

When the ANC's Pinky Ncube was asked why she was wearing a low-cut red number, she replied that it "shows off my boobs".

A little more dignity, please, ma'am.

Are you listening, dear?

ON the subject of ample bosoms, Hogarth was impressed by the president's emphasis on a healthy lifestyle.

Said he: "We must exercise and not keep on expanding ..."

Given the parade of substantial matriarchs who had just graced the red carpet, he really had a point.

Among those amused by the expanding waistlines quip was his wife, MaNtuli. But perhaps those were nervous giggles, and this message a little close to home.

If you can't beat 'em ...

HOGARTH hears that when ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe walked into the ANC Youth League national executive committee lekgotla on Friday, the entire room broke into a song that made it clear that he was not welcome. As Mantashe tried to shake Malema's hand, members kept singing that, come the ANC conference in December, the youth league would be voting for Fikile Mbalula to replace him. But Mantashe is an old hand at politics and does not scare easily. Instead of storming out of the room, the former trade unionist joined in the singing.

Perhaps Mantashe felt comfortable in youth league company. Many of those present seemed to Hogarth to have passed the 35-year mark.

Silence of the young lambs

THE youth league usually can't stop gushing about the state of the nation address. But this year there was not a word from Juju or spin-doctor Floyd Shivambu on the speech.

Maybe they think that if they close their eyes and ignore Zuma, he will disappear.

In the words of Dame Thatcher

NOW that Meryl Streep is starring as Margaret Thatcher in a movie released this weekend, it might be a good time to remember one of the Iron Lady's classic quotes: "Every prime minister needs a Willie," she said at the farewell dinner for William Whitelaw.

Write to hogarth@sundaytimes.co.za