Constantly checking your social media 'can be bad for parenting'

Fear of missing out — commonly known as Fomo — which results in many people constantly checking their phones for the latest online updates is often blamed as the driver of social media addiction.

But a new study has revealed that constantly checking social media sites has negative connotations even towards parenting. According to University of the Western Cape research, social media addiction or excessive use of technology has been identified by some mothers as a barrier to effective parenting. It is said to take attention away from their children. Some parents found it difficult to discipline their children due to unlimited access to technological devices such as smartphones.

In the latest study, researchers found that being a single mom, not having a job, lack of support from a partner, access to social media and living in unsafe communities were found to be barriers to effective parenting by the majority of mothers in the Western Cape while good support either by parents or baby fathers and religion are considered as parenting enablers.

“I’m actually struggling with the discipline aspect. Sometimes you get carried away like me especially with social media, I tend to be on my phone and then I forget my child is actually around me. So, yeah ... I need to be more attentive,” said one of the study participants.

Researchers  argue that “while social media can be a source of information, it can be detrimental when someone spends a lot of time on it”.

“Therefore, spending much time on social media can affect parents’ ability to train their children,” researchers said.

As part of the study titled: Enablers and barriers to effective parenting within the first 1,000 days: an exploratory study of South African parents and primary caregivers in low socioeconomic communities, researchers followed 30 mothers from various poor communities in the Western Cape such as Khayelitsha, Saldanha, Caledon, Mitchells Plain, Manenberg and Grabouw.

The negative circumstances such as unemployment and gender-based violence were identified as unconducive home environments which affected child development, especially during the first 1,000 days or the first two years of life.

Better socioeconomic status, feeling safe and family support were associated to responsive caregiving and  early stimulation of children.

Participants expressed an array of financial difficulties, including unemployment, as detrimental to their ability to care for their children effectively. Stress is often associated with mood disruption, which affects parents’ behaviours towards their children and may prevent parents from having proper interaction and engagement with their children. Some parents said they couldn’t give their children what they wanted due to tight budgets. This often left them feeling guilty.

Many parents also expressed concerns about the unsafe environments they lived in, with some fearing that their children may be harmed physically, sexually assaulted and abducted. While many preferred to always be in proximity to their children, this was not always possible due to their daily activities beneficial to their children’s development such as work.

“These days the children disappear ... get raped and assaulted. People come from the road ... and then they fight with bottles. It actually isn’t safe for me to sit in the yard with her,” said a 24-year-old mother.

A 38-year-old mother said being with her child all the time gave a sense of relief.

“I raised her on my arm because I feel that she is safer on my arm. If she gets hurt over there, then I’m not close enough, but if she is on my arm, then she is safe.”

Writing in Journal of Health, Population and Nutrition, lead researcher Babatope Adebiyi said there is a need to remove barriers, either through policies or interventions, to allow effective parenting in poor communities.

“This is because effective parenting is vital in improving developmental outcomes for children within the first 1,000 days of life. Therefore, there is a need to develop policies and interventions to promote effective parenting within the first 1,000 days in the communities.

“The development of policies and interventions to promote effective parenting will enable children to survive, thrive and transform their human potential,” he said.

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