Ask not 'what is wrong with you?'; ask 'what happened to you?' — Oprah Winfrey speaks in Midrand

21 July 2023 - 17:15
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Oprah Winfrey gave a talk at Gallagher Estate in Midrand on Friday.
Oprah Winfrey gave a talk at Gallagher Estate in Midrand on Friday.
Image: Leonie Wagner

Oprah Winfrey is a media mogul, philanthropist and a gift giver. So when more than 500 people gathered at Gallagher Convention Centre, the room erupted with excitement as she stepped on stage.  

Some attendees took a moment to look under their seats. Winfrey, together with the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls (Owlag), hosted the inaugural conference for teachers and counsellors to discuss the affect trauma has on learning. Laughter filled the conference room when Winfrey said: “There are no car keys or my favourite things under your seats.” 

This was a different sort of session. Winfrey was in Johannesburg to share insights from the best-selling book What Happened to You?, which she co-authored with renowned psychiatrist Bruce Perry.  

The book delves into the significance of trauma and its lasting affect on people, exploring how understanding a person's past, especially the early years, can foster empathy and healing. 

Perry's expertise in neuroscience and childhood development, with Winfrey's compassionate storytelling, offer valuable insights into the complexities of human resilience. 

The one-day conference titled “What Happened to You: Understanding the Impact of Trauma on Learning, Teaching and Psychological Functioning”, saw those in the education and psychological sectors coming together to learn from Winfrey and experts from Owlag.

Owlag executive director Gugu Ndebele said the academy is a trauma-informed school that recognises everyone has trauma. Founded by Winfrey in 2007, Owlag is a prestigious boarding school in South Africa which aims to provide underprivileged girls with quality education and leadership skills. The academy empowers young women to excel academically, develop character and become change-makers in their communities. 

“Their identity is not their poverty or their abuse; therefore it’s important to start with the question “what happened to you?”, said Ndebele. 

Winfrey related how the idea for the school was born during her visit to former president Nelson Mandela’s Qunu home years ago.

On a Sunday afternoon, the two were sitting in Mandela’s lounge reading the Sunday Times. A particular story caught Mandela’s attention and the conversation turned to poverty and ideas on how to address it. 

For Winfrey, the answer was education.  

When you take a trauma-informed approach to leadership, to education and seeing the whole person in an effort to make them whole, that becomes your legacy
Oprah Winfrey

“We were talking about how to overcome poverty and I said I believe education is the way. I also told Mandela I believe women would be the ones to do it,” Winfrey said. 

For Winfrey, the dream was seemingly simple: to create an environment where girls can thrive. She had her hand in every aspect of the school, from the theatre to the linen for the girls’ beds.  

Eventually the multimillion-dollar school opened its doors in 2007. Each pupil was hand-picked by Winfrey and the criteria was simple: they had to be girls like her from impoverished backgrounds, but they had to be academically skilled.  

Within the first two weeks of the school opening, Winfrey realised something was amiss and after consultations with Perry, she charted a path to address this.

“During the first week the girls were reacting in a way strange to me. Bruce said it’s post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I’d always associated PTSD with war and his response was, 'poverty is war'. I thought education was enough, that was my mistake and a huge learning curve.” 

That’s when the academy adopted a trauma-informed approach to learning, the fundamental philosophy being moving from asking “what is wrong with you?” to “what happened to you?” 

For Winfrey, the academy is her contribution to society to create an environment where young girls cannot only heal from trauma, but also rewrite the script of their lives. These girls come from different parts of the country and have one thing in common: they come from extreme poverty. 

“It’s always been my goal to get people to their better, best life. For me, the legacy of the school will be allowing girls to meet the calling of their lives,” Winfrey said.  

The girls are taught about the neuro-sequential model and how their trauma has affected them. They’re also taught how to meditate and regulating techniques to help them calm down. 

“When you take a trauma-informed approach to leadership, to education and seeing the whole person in an effort to make them whole, that becomes your legacy,” Winfrey said.

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