Can we have a puppy, please? Can we?

Kids love pets because pets love kids. An eight-year-old told me that his pet Labrador, Jack, is "cute and fun to play with and I like it when he makes me laugh".

The formal term for a pet in the psychological world is "companion animal", and this really captures what's most important in the relationship between children and the animals they play with and care for every day.

Their pet becomes a much-loved companion and it takes no stretch of the imagination to see the benefits that could accrue to a lonely or unhappy child.

Children who have been traumatised or are struggling with feelings of anxiety can find enormous comfort through a relationship with their pets.

Having a pet also gives children a sense of independence, a relationship that is separate from the human family, a special, privileged, and generally unconditional relationship.

What also interests me, as a psychologist, is that research indicates there are physical and mental health benefits from having a pet, including lowering high blood pressure, preventing heart disease and combating depression. In a study by Robert Bierer of the University of New Mexico, pre-adolescent children who owned dogs had statistically significantly higher self-esteem and empathy scores than did children without dogs.

Other benefits of a child having a pet are obvious. Taking care of a pet, feeding it and keeping it healthy teaches responsibility and discipline. It's also healthy to be outside throwing a ball for a dog, rather than being locked into yet another computer game.

Relating to animals helps children develop empathy and learn to see things from a different perspective.

Through these interactions, children gain an appreciation of nature and the interconnectedness of animals and humans.

But before you rush out to buy a pet, think the matter through and do a little research. What level of care can your family cope with? Owning a Labrador is very different from owning a gerbil. The gerbil won't return your affection, but he also won't vomit a slab of butter onto your carpet, or demand an hour of play every day, failing which he turns fat and starts digging up your new vegetable patch. Small pets may be the only possibility if you live in an apartment or shared housing, and they are cheaper to own.

Larger animals such as cats and dogs need more attention, so either your child needs to be more mature or you need to help take care of them. This does offer families a great opportunity for parent-child bonding and special time.

Because they don't live as long, having a pet also accelerates the cycle of life and death and confronts your child with issues of loss and illness. You might find yourself holding an elaborate funeral for a hamster you never liked, trying to find the right words to console your child. This is a good thing. Children get to learn about life's hardships and about the routines we engage in to deal with those tough times: medical checkups, taking medicine, eating healthily, and so on.

There is also the matter of responsibility. Children have short attention spans, so you can expect the beloved goldfish of today to become tomorrow's white elephant, with you doing the daily feeding and cleaning because your son has lost interest.

Under the age of six, children are often too rough with animals as well, not intentionally, but because they haven't really learnt yet that pets are different from toys. Therefore, you will at first need to supervise your child around animals.

Before you bring a pet home, expose your child to the type of animal he or she wants by visiting the SPCA or someone who has that type of pet. Your child may have always wanted a border collie, but five minutes with an adult one that keeps nipping her heels and trying to round her up might convince him or her otherwise.

Despite these challenges, keeping a pet has many advantages. As long as you remember that both children and pets need parenting: boundaries, limit setting, affection, routine and stimulation.

• Ancer is a Johannesburg-based psychologist