Up: Dear John

This October marks John Lennon's 70th birthday. So, EMI and that funny-looking woman Yoko Ono will be reissuing eight of his solo records, plus a greatest hits package and an anthology titled Gimme Some Truth.

All will be digitally remastered and will likely hit stores on October 5. Nice one bruva.

AFTER MANY A SUMMER .

Black Swan is a new film by Darren Aronofsky. It stars Mila Kunis (pictured) - hot - and Natalie Portman - hotter - as two warring ballerinas during the production of Swan Lake. It's a dark thriller with mental illness and pseudo-lesbianism. In other words? Nothing like Ellen DeGeneres.

IT'S ALL IN THE WRIST

Wii beware. PlayStation's coming out with Move a motion-sensing game controller platform for the PS3 console. It has a controller wand and uses the PS Eye camera to track the wand's position, while internal sensors in the wand detect its motion. It's the first serious competition for Nintendo, but will the games be better? Watch this space.

THE FINAL RIP-OFF

For some strange reason, The Closer's Kyra Sedgwick (pictured) picked up the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series this year. Everyone knows it's a lame show, and Sedgwick keeps coming off as a woman playing a man playing a woman.

BITE ME

The most preposterous director of all time, James Cameron, recently slammed the cheesiest producer of all time, Mark Canton, for his hand in creating Piranha 3D. Cameron called it the perfect "example of what we should not be doing in 3D. Because it just cheapens the medium".

Canton fired back with things like "you did not invent 3D", adding that Avatar was inconsistent and "overwhelmed the storytelling". What storytelling? The film was one big cliche with giant smurfs running about.