Hogarth: 07 November 2010

Hogarth knows no political allegiance and is equally impatient with ideological lunacy be it peddled by the left, the right or the centre.

Did Hogarth sleep through a failed coup? "The work of government continues," chief government spokesman Themba Maseko headlined his newsflash to reporters this week.

"The work of parliament continues as normal," the office of the chief whip said in another calming bulletin.

Maseko also denied rumours that some ministers had read about their sacking in the press, saying: "The president handled the matter sensitively and in a dignified manner." And our new government leaders are not that bad either. He added: "Government is confident that all the ministers and deputy ministers appointed by the president are competent and will perform their duties as expected."

Phew. Sounds like someone was really worried for a while there.

Tongue in cheek

IN Gauteng, meanwhile, the ruling party felt it necessary to defend the new MEC for health: "The statement made by Jack Bloom from the DA borders on the appointment Ntombi Mekgwe is mendacious (sic). The epithets directed at Cde Ntombi Mekgwe as 'bad news' are so puerile and ill-informed. Cde Ntombi is the guileless and witty leader. She has been tested and very much competent and acerbic. She will be equal to the task. It also means she will do well in her new job." So relax, folks. There's a sharp tongue in charge.

Lead the way, comrade

STILL on the subject of leadership, that's what the ANC says "Comrade Tony" (Yengeni) demonstrated this week when he quit the boards of six companies he had joined in violation of the statutory prohibition on convicted fraudsters serving as directors.

So, kids, as long as you can get away with it, go for it. If someone catches you, just stop. That's leadership.

Kindergarten capers

THE communist kids in the Eastern Cape have been testing the limits of positive thinking. "We are aware that we carry the hopes of the majority of young people in the province on our shoulders," they said after deciding it was time to leave the mother ship and fly solo in the next election. And don't be fooled by rivals from the other kindergarten: "Because of the superiority of our ideology, the only option they have is to rob us."

Made in heaven?

SO the alliance between the ANC and Cosatu really is a marriage. And like any good marriage, it includes the occasional round of pointless bickering.

This week the ANC's secretary-general, Gwede Mantashe, and Cosatu's general secretary, Zwelinzima Vavi, explained it all when they spoke at The Daily Maverick's "Gathering" in Johannesburg.

Mantashe complained that Cosatu had not consulted the ANC before calling a meeting of civil society organisations to fight corruption. A spouse should always phone their partner and tell them where they were if they were going to be out late, he said.

Vavi responded that it was just as bad for a marriage if one partner insisted on being present at each and every meeting of the other partner. What kind of loving, trusting relationship could be based on such suspicion, he asked. So, a bit of broken crockery, but no divorce just yet.

Winners don't take all

THERE is truth, the whole truth and the Department of Mineral Resources, whose director-general, Sandile Nogxina, told parliament's mining committee the government had won a much-publicised spat with Italian investors hard hit by the country's epidemic of disappearing mineral rights. Reason had prevailed, Nogxina said, because the International Centre of Investment Disputes in the Hague had dismissed the Italian claim with costs to the tune of R3.8-million.

Hogarth can reveal that Nogxina is as stingy with the facts as he is with mining rights. The dispute was settled and the tribunal awarded the SA government R3.8-million - 7.5% - out of a total claim of R52-million. In the words of the tribunal: "In this case, there is no real winner ..." Not even truth.

• Write to: hogarth@sundaytimes.co.za