It was year of plumbers and battered Maybachs

JOLLY, silly and merry are words that go glass in hand with this season. Here's a look back at the year that was for the 16 teams in the Absa Premiership (log standings in brackets).

Ajax Cape Town (14): WTF is happening down in the Cape? A case of Dutch delight gone downright dodgy? An owners' war has brought bad karma to Ikamva, so much so that even a star performer like Khama Billiat is looking decidedly bilious. Wat gaan aan, mense?

AmaZulu (16): Change the name to AmaAbysmal already! How Usuthu management thought that Roger Palmgren, the guy who relegated that team with a fanakalo name, Thanda Royal Zulu, will take them to the promised land beats me.

Not even a right royal bollocking from King Zwelithini could turn the wimps to impis as the 80-year old club ended the year as basement boys.

Bidvest Wits (9): The Clever Boys have lost their wits since Roger de Sa was booted out unceremoniously. And Antonio Habas Lopez has got them playing like a terrible tune of a siesta-inducing Spanish guitar.

Bloemfontein Celtic (7): They harass you, harangue you and visit hell on you for 90 minutes. Plus extra time. Plus penalties. Ask Pirates. No, ask one Johan Neeskens about Clinton Larson's Telkom KO champs. They left him in tears and jobless. It's the media's fault, hey Johan? Don't answer.

Black Leopards (12): Where in the world have you ever spotted a pink leopard? Ever? Only in Limpopo. Coach Ian Palmer is suspended for mysterious reasons. Can a pink leopard change its spots? Maybe to lime?

Chippa United (15): Of promotion and implosion. We all love those feel good stories that give us a warm fuzzy feeling. Security guard Chippa Mpengesi's rise to soccer tycoonhood was breathtaking. It was mirrored by United's elevation to the upper echelon. They won't annex the PSL at first attempt, as per Mpengesi's prediction. Their flirtation with relegation tells us so.

Free State Stars (4): Linguist, philosopher, swanker, Komphela works wonders on a shoe-string budget. Stars are a solid side and they're all beaming in Bethlehem this Christmas.

Kaizer Chiefs (1): His coaching of Bafana left some suspecting that Stuart Baxter was a plumber. Which may be true given how he has plugged the leaking holes. Amakhosi faithful are loving the stew Stu is serving at the top of the table. He is a coach after all.

Lamontville Golden Arrows (13): They've been blunt, but if anyone can breathe life into them it is Manqoba Mnqgithi, who needs to restore his reputation, faster than fast.

Mamelodi Sundowns (10): They are like a battered Maybach. Now Moneybags Motsepe has brought in Pitso Mosimane Panelbeaters after Neeskens crashed the expensive toy. Mosimane's trusted number 13 spanner (read Katlego Mphela) is tightening the screws.

Maritzburg United (5):

Mess with Ernst Middendorp at your peril. That's all I'm saying. Use it, don't use it.

Moroka Swallows (11): Their free fall since the MTN8 heroics has left the coach confessing that he doesn't have the dressing room. Zeca Marques is living on borrowed time in the Birds' nest ... Pass him a lollipop, please.

Orlando Pirates (2): There were doubters when Irvin Khoza summoned the swearing sailor aboard the Bucs ship. De Sa embarked on a points looting spree, steering the ship to second spot, breathing down Baxter's neck. Roger that.

Platinum Stars (3): Some of Cavin Johnson's friends are still gangsters. My suspicion is that they come to give team talks that have instilled the gung-ho mentality which has seen Stars snatch the R1,5-million Q-2 Innovation stash.

SuperSport United (8): Draw, draw, draw, draw, draw, draw, draw, draw, draw, draw and draw. It was a year of going back to the drawing board for Gavin Hunt et al.

University of Pretoria (6): It is refreshing to see a newly promoted side like AmaTuks making waves. Long may it continue. Ho, ho, ho!