Humour

Four stereotypes you'll likely spot on SA beaches - are you one of them?

A tongue-in-cheek guide to the types of women you may find on on the sun lounger next to you this summer

22 December 2019 - 00:00 By Andrea Nagel
If your beach companion is wearing huge sunnies and an oversized hat, she's likely to be a glamour puss.
If your beach companion is wearing huge sunnies and an oversized hat, she's likely to be a glamour puss.
Image: 123RF/Nadezda Korobkova

THE GLAMOUR PUSS

BEACH ID: It’s all about sex appeal and revealing strategic bits of skin while keeping as much of the face covered with oversized, diamond-studded sunglasses. Might cover up her sexy full-piece by adding a tasselled sarong cut thigh-high, but is equally happy to parade her bod in just her swimwear and high heels.

SPOTTED: At the most exclusive VIP poolside parties, or wherever the jet set are hanging out this summer.

LOUNGER CHAT: “Is that one of my extensions in the deep end?”

THE BOHEMIAN BABE

BEACH ID: Always in her bum-skimming denims and straw trilby, she spends thousands on her wardrobe but still ends up looking like a hippy.

SPOTTED: Strolling or cycling on a vintage bike with basket along the boardwalks of the quaintest seaside towns.

LOUNGER CHAT: Full of wisdoms like: “Beautiful things don’t seek attention.” “Not all those who wander are lost.” “All good things are wild and free.”

The fitness fanatic in action.
The fitness fanatic in action.
Image: 123RF/Michael Simons

THE FITNESS FANATIC

BEACH ID: Will wear whatever it takes to keep moving. She’s super-fit and wants it to show. The look is more about performance than fashion, but the latest Nikes and gym togs won’t be amiss. Happy to be sweaty.

SPOTTED: Jogging along the beach front in Camps Bay, popping into the icy ocean to cool off and going for a sunset paddle across the bay.

LOUNGER CHAT: “The best way to get to the top is to get off your bottom.” 

THE OLD-SCHOOL SUN WORSHIPER

BEACH ID: Loves high-waisted bikini bottoms or vintage full-piece swimwear with frills on the hips. Will mix and match floral prints on her bag, shoes and towel, wears cat-eye sunglasses and would never dream of ruining her marcel wave by getting her hair wet. Never without bright red lipstick and has mastered the skill of walking in platforms on the beach.

SPOTTED: On a stripey deckchair in a manicured garden or posing under a striped umbrella on a private beach with a Mimosa in hand.

LOUNGER CHAT: “The better you dress the worse you can behave.”