Malcolm McGown has all but given up hope of having his son Stephen home by Christmas. Stephen is being held hostage in Mali and Christmas Day will be his father's birthday.
But Malcolm still clings to the possibility that his son will be home by January 28, in time for the hostage's 42nd birthday.
Stephen and a Swede, Johan Gustafsson, have been held in Timbuktu since November 2011. Stephen was on a motorbike trip through Africa, after working in Britain for a few years. His family lives in Johannesburg.
For Malcolm, who turns 72 on Sunday, the past five years have been a roller coaster ride. After a proof-of-life video was released in December last year there was hope that Stephen would be home for Christmas 2016.
In recent months there was again hope for his return this festive season, but nothing came of it.
"We really expected him out last year. I don't know how expectations get raised to that level [but] every time it does, it comes crashing down. In the last month or so, the whole thing's gone to pieces again," Malcolm said.
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"We pursued it again this year. His birthday is 28 January. If he can't be home by my birthday, let it be his.
"My daughter and her family are coming here [from the UK] on January 2. It would be very nice if he could be brought back to see her before she departs. But there are no guarantees," Malcolm said this week.
The wait and uncertainty have taken a toll on the family, particularly on his wife Beverley.
"While Stephen's been there we've been up and down. My wife has deteriorated with her illness. She's not quite on her deathbed, but she's not good.
"She's been in hospital four times this year. The stress doesn't do her any good," he said.
South African-based aid organisation Gift of the Givers has been negotiating for Stephen's release. And while it is taking longer than the family had hoped, Malcolm is convinced that his son is alive.
"We've been told he's being looked after. The last proof-of-life was December last year. Stephen looked in better condition than Johan.
"He talked well and looked well. We are told they're being treated well," he said.
In the meantime, Malcolm is hoping that a care package, taken to Mali by Gift of the Givers negotiator Yehia Dicko last month, will give his son comfort.
"There were letters from everyone, including my daughter. There were a few things to remind him of home, like rooibos tea and chocolates," he said.
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