Today marks one year since gospel star Sfiso Ncwane died from complications of kidney failure, but the loss of his death is felt every day by his widow, Ayanda and those close to him.
Taking to Instagram, Ayanda shared how she cries herself to sleep almost every night and prays that God would bring him back.
Ayanda started off her tribute by listing all the wonderful ways Sfiso changed her life to become a girlfriend, a mother, a wife and then last year a widow.
"But sadly on the 5th I witnessed the most painful and brutal experience in my entire life. God decided to take you away from us, I can lie in front of the world and walk with bravery, smile with a bruised spirit, walk with silent screams, but the fact still stands I weep deeply almost every night and beg God to return you to me. I can't get used to your absence!"
Ayanda said that a year later the pain was still "fresh" and today felt like she was losing Sfiso all over again.
"Today feels like I'm losing you over and over again! The pain of losing you never goes away, the wound is always fresh. It is the grace of God that keeps me going each day. Being angry at God for not saving your life cannot help me... God is God! He does as he pleases!"
She said that even though she can't change what has happened or bring Sfiso back, she will always love him.
"I will always love you myeni wami (my husband)... Goodnight sthandwa sam (my love), rest well."
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