Zoleka Mandela on infertility pain: I cried myself to sleep

Zoleka Mandela is grappling to come to terms with the emotions of not being able to have more children because of the risks as a cancer surviour. 

In a social media statement, Zoleka said she cried her heart out this week because she planned to be trying for twins this year. 

"I cried myself to sleep last night, told myself I'd only cry for an hour then keep it moving but only fell asleep around 2am, having cried for what felt like the entire day ... I just want to have another baby, I thought I would be in the process of trying for twins this year. I guess I haven't quite come to terms with my infertility." 

Two weeks ago, Zoleka's oncologist reminded her of the risks that come with falling pregnant as a cancer survivor. 

"I am 37 years old and have been pushed into early/medical menopause twice in my life. Pregnancy and weight gain increases estrogen in my body which only accelerates the growth of cancer cells." 

She was advised that falling pregnant could cause the cancer to return, spread or even be incurable. 

Zoleka is currently in remission after beating breast cancer for the second time last year.