WATCH | Nozuko Ntshangase chats about healing and childhood traumas

Actress Nozuko Ntshangase has been away from social media to do healing work.

Taking to her YouTube channel, Nozuko revealed she had been doing shadow work and trying to get to the bottom of why she doesn't feel enough, even after receiving external validation. 

“Part of your shadow self is made up of your childhood trauma. Other things form your shadow self, but part of it is patterns and mindsets that were developed when you were a kid. ”

She said a friend asked her about her childhood and that caused her to reflect using the guidelines of a spiritual teacher whose teachings are guiding her journey of shadow work. The exercise is called Childhood Review and she had to answer three questions about herself set by the teacher.

She revealed mind patterns that left her feeling like she was not enough when she was growing up.

“I'm a result of teenage pregnancy. Maybe my mom accepted me, but for me the stories I heard daily about who I am and what they used to narrate to me as a child they did not do it out of hate, they did that not being aware. I felt I was not accepted because I was my mom's reason for her heartbreak because my dad decided to leave her soon after she found out she was pregnant. He abandoned her.

“I felt like I was my grandmother's disappointment. My mom had to quit school after she found out she was pregnant and I felt not wanted because my father abandoned me.” 

In 2020, as SA's 16 Days Of Activism came to an end on December 10, the former Scandal! actress took to her Instagram to share her story about witnessing abuse from a young age and learning to heal from those experiences as an adult.

Nozuko said she hoped sharing her painful past would help her to “be able to recognise real love, build strong boundaries and develop new and healthier patterns” for herself and her family.

“Having experienced abuse from a young age, watching my stepdad(s) beat up my mom while she provided shelter for them, clothed and fed them while helping them to take care of their own families,” she  said.

“When I started dating, I fell straight into the same patterns. I remember the first slap from my first love. I never questioned it nor told anyone about it. My second love was even worse. He was emotionally, psychologically and sometimes physically abusive,” she said.

On her YouTube channel Nozuko has been open up about living with depression and surviving three suicide attemptsl.

Nozuko shared tips to  combat depression through practices such as meditating and journaling that had helped her. She said she hoped her story could help another person survive a dark and suicidal period.

“I want someone who is going through what I have been through to relate, to learn, and find a way out,” she said.

If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal or thinking about ending their life, speak to a mental health professional or contact the suicide helpline on 0800 567 567, Cipla Helpline 0800 456 789which is open 24 hours a day and seven days a week, or SMS 31393.