Prince Harry makes chilly revelations about his frostnipped penis in ‘Spare’

Since its global release, Prince Harry’s memoir Spare has not only broken the UK’s sales record as the fastest selling non-fiction book; it has also been breaking the internet.

Spare, which was released on Tuesday, dishes out scandalous revelations — such as how he lost his virginity to an older woman in a field behind a busy pub and his regret at Googling Meghan Markle’s sex scenes from Suits when they started dating.

But it’s his revelation about his frostnipped penis that had readers and internet users in stitches.

As the story goes, Harry sustained frostnip — a pre-frostbite condition that doesn’t result in permanent damage — on a charity expedition to the North Pole shortly before William and Kate’s wedding in 2011.

The damage was to his ears, his fingers and, as he would later discover, his penis.

During an interview on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, he provided more background: “The piece [referring to his penis] was against one layer of clothing or two very thin layers of clothing to minus 35 [degrees] and when you’re walking, you’re hot, and you’re trying not to sweat because the sweat freezes. And once it’s numb, you don’t know. The pain — it’s just numb.”

It took him weeks after getting back to realise there was trouble down south. “It was a slow, deteriorating situation,” he told Colbert.

“My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized,” he writes in the book.

In an attempt to rescue his chilly bits, Harry tried a few home remedies. On the advice from a friend, he decided to apply Elizabeth Arden cream to his nether regions, despite the smell which reminded him of his mother.

“I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room.”

Unfortunately, the cream didn’t work. “‘Weird’ doesn’t really do the feeling justice,” he goes on.

After a few covert phone calls and being snuck into a doctor’s consulting room, he was advised that time would heal his wounds.

And it did, as he confirmed in his interview with Colbert. “It’s fine now, thank you.”

Unfortunately for readers, this is not the only time Harry’s “todger” is the topic of discussion in the book. Having learnt from his mistake in 2011, he details how a close friend hired a seamstress to make a bespoke penis cushion for a 2013 charity hike in Antarctica to protect his previously traumatised member.

Since the revelations, beauty brand Elizabeth Arden capitalised on the idea that there’s no such thing as bad publicity and took to Twitter to promote their Hyaluronic Acid capsules, prompting some hilarious replies from Tweeps.